Sunday, May 5, 2013

Yo!!! Can a brotha get a courtesy flush?!?

 
It happened again Friday; and every single time it happens, I just want to scream!!!  Once again I found myself shouting into one of the stalls in the men's room asking, "Hey....can a brotha get a courtesy flush?!?"
 
I really hate doing that.  I don't want to have to call anyone out. I don't want to have to ask.  But we've got a few men in our office that regularly use the men's bathroom on my floor that will routinely emit odors that would offend a pig's nose.
 
Usually when one of those guys is in there, some decent person will shout "code black" if they see someone else getting ready to walk into the men's room behind one of them.
 
It's as if they're trying to peel the paint off the walls. They smell the same way I would imagine a wild gorilla would smell if it's diet were too high in fiber.  All of them are big burly dudes.....but they've gotta have some serious health issues going on.  No one's insides smell like that for no reason at all. In the very least, they need to change their diets for all of our sakes.
 
There's actually three of them, there's............
Uncle Fester
 
We call him Uncle Fester, well.....because he looks like Uncle Fester from The Addams Family. His bowels are lethal and he's not opposed to allowing you to smell the full wrath of them.  He's actually the reason that I wrote this post.  When I was presented with his stench when I walked in the bathroom on Friday, I demanded that he immediately give me a courtesy flush.
 
He did.........but that was too little and far too late.  My nostrils were thoroughly offended by that juncture.


There's Beetlejuice....no not that Beetlejuice, this one.  I had to ask him for a courtesy flush one day last month. Dude's so ugly that I don't know what else we'd call him.

and there's 'Squatch, since he kinda resembles a Sasquatch.  He's a big burly hairy mofo who spends most of his day eating one unhealthy snack after another and he has the utter audacity to snack on prunes at his desk as well.  I've had to request a courtesy flush from him a couple of times since we've worked together. Because of those prunes he's so fond of there's a guy in the office that refers to him as "juicy farts", but that's just too disrespectful....even for me.
 
The three of them have been known to clear a bathroom quicker than Kryptonite will kill Superman.  And the simple truth is, they've got no shame in their game.  Although I don't believe that any of them had ever heard of the term "drop and flush", I've acquainted all three of them with it more than a few times.
 
Nasty bastards.
What is so hard about being considerate enough to respect your coworkers?!?  It's not as if they're the only people that actually use that bathroom.
Why in God's name would anyone want to subject another living soul with the smell of their insides?!?  Common decency would suggest that everyone employ the drop and flush method.
 It's just the right thing to do.
 I don't want to have to demand a courtesy flush from anyone, but if push comes to shove, I will.
Why is it so hard for some people to provide the rest of us with a timely courtesy flush?!?  It's just the decent thing to do.

50 comments:

  1. OMG I can hardly reply from laughing LOL...that's men though ladies are taught that it's not proper to do anything but pee in a public washroom lol but if you gotta go hey hide it as best you can...whenever I go into the bathroom and it smells I leave quickly...don't want to get stuck with the smell having someone come in giving that look.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Linda there are gentlemen and there are men. I actually work with a lot of men, very few gentlemen actually work with me.

      If I left the men's room in my office every time I walked into it and it didn't smell so fresh, I'd rarely use it. When I get to work first thing in the morning, it's good. But as the day wears on, it leaves a lot to be desired.

      Delete
  2. Reggie, you have provided me with such a laugh. I think you should write a book about all the misadventures you have run into, especially talking about Holiday Heart.

    BTW, other people have been able to post on the other site with the poetry on it. You can give it another try to see if you're still having trouble. I hope you did enjoy what you read on it.

    Nice to see you posting again. You've been missed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know No Labels, Holiday Heart is good people, she's just got some really busted hooves!!! I don't mean to hate on her either, I'm just not used to seeing a grown woman that wears shoes having hooves quite like that.

      It's really scandalous.

      Delete
  3. I can solve your problem, Reggie. You need to buy yourself a nice little RV. Then when you need to use the facilities, you can just run outside to your RV. Problem solved! Don't say I never did anything for you. :-) Lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Problem solved!!!!

      Now I've got a new problem, I need money for that RV. Hey Val, can you help a brotha out?!? I need some RV $$$!!!

      Delete
  4. LOL @ your comments about Uncle Fester! I know quite a few similar offenders! There are about 6 males/offenders on the 6th floor of my job. That's why I use the Men's room on the 5th floor. There are no male employees on that floor. The bathrooms smell garden fresh. I agree, you shoudl write a book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uncle Fester is a nice guy, maybe just a tad bit slow....but all in all, he's a p;etty nice guy Daij. I just wouldn't want to follow the son of a bitch into a stall, that's all.

      If I could write.....I would. I just don't think that I've got quite enough imagination for a whole book.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. I'm serious BigMac. Oh I'm usually joking....but I'm usually serious too......usually anyway.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Someone like these guys works in everyone's office probably Gaytkeeper.

      Delete
  7. Some people are just gross & inconsiderate... YOU, on the other hand, are wile, yo! WILE! lol.


    One.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One things for sure Moanerplicity, nasty is as nasty does.

      Delete
  8. O, just kick the flusher thingy with your foot and forget about it, Reg ... I do it all the time ... works well with people's verbal garbage as well ... thanks for your blog posts ... always love reading and mulling them over ... c :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No!!! No!!! No!!!

      No one should have to dispose of another human beings waste. Besides, I'm not the janitor. All I want is for my coworkers to act in a civilized fashion. I don't think that giving a courtesy flush every once in awhile when they're dropping the kids off by the pool is too much to ask.

      Delete
  9. I. Just. Died. -- I have a co-worker, a woman, who clogs the toilet daily. It just sucks.. We only have one toilet for women... ugh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly Erica we've all got coworkers like this.

      I firmly believe that rather than 7 drawfs, there were originally 10. But the other 7 asked Cheesy, Funky and Nasty to leave.

      Delete
  10. I swear, the simplest thing for everyone to do is just not drop deuces at work. Leave that stuff at home - literally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No sir, I cannot be an advocate of a man straining his Taylors in an effort to not shake his snake or a man getting a serious abdominal strain from not being able to stock the porcelain lake with the brown trout.

      When a man's gotta go, a man's gotta go. No, I just want them to be decent about it.

      Delete
  11. You are gross and this post is disgusting! Ewww! I can't believe you do this in the restroom! Hahahahhaa! I have an aversion to the publics so this never happens to me. I shouted you out on the blog stop by. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nasty muthafuckers the lot of them. lol @"code black"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tell you Chrome that a code black ain't no joke!!!!

      Delete
  13. People are rude and selfish. It's a shame you have to share a restroom with the kind of people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes indeed, they are all that and more!!!

      Delete
  14. LMFAO Reggie yoy just added an extra bit of joy and laughter to my saturday. The descriptions are so on point. You should take a brown paper gag bag with you before you enter the toilet in case you need to barf!

    OMG speaking of nasty ass people at work, women can be terrible too. Imagine walking into a cubicle only to find a sanitary towel covered in blood by the side of the toilet roll dispenser. Bloody rank and disgusting!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barefoot Countesaa only a truly nasty bitch would that!!!!

      Delete
  15. The women I work with blow the toilet up on the regular Reg. They're so nasty, I had to tell them to dump and flush too. Last week, one of them farted near me and I swear, it was so funky that it wrapped itself around me and refused to let me go!! GAWD, it was stinky! I was like, "damn, go walk outside if you're gonna drop H-bombs like that!"
    Yeah...women can be just as nasty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This guy I work with has insides that defy an adequate description BayouCreole. I don't know what dude eats....but its just not a good thing. I don't get it. He's a portly dude and he drops at least two deuces a day in the men's room....at least. It's as if he waits for me to go to the bathroom to go in there. It seems like we're always in there together. People like him shouldn't be allowed to use an indoor toilet. Truth be told, he should have to go outside and use a tree or something. His insides are lethal.

      Delete
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  20. Man you are a damn fool. Funny thing is my wife yells this at me at home. Except she ain't as polite as you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. C'mon man!!!

      You know you've gotta drop and flush at home!!! You can't just fill it up dude!!!

      You're totally wrong for that Dirty Red!!!

      Totally wrong my brother!!!

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  24. OMG, I fell out my chair. This was hilarious. Those guys should have a can of Lysol attached to their hip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even though the three of them are pretty bad Brandi, I've actually seen worse.

      There was this guy that used to work with me that could peel the paint off the walls. He was a really technically saavy guy. But he was a complete stranger to the courtesy flush; and generally when I asked for one, he simply laughed.

      Delete