Sex is good!!!

Sex is good......without question sex is good.

Sex is a beautiful thing indeed.

Oh you might not know that sex is a damned good thing by listening to talk radio talking heads or some of those men that would like to hold the title of POTUS, all of which are completely full of shit.  Not to mention the stoic stances held by those old grey haired virginal men that wear dresses and fancy hats.   One would think that sex is evil.  That the use of contraception was scandalous.  That it somehow involved the dark one, the evil one, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Satan, Mephistopheles, the very devil himself.
I wonder if the conservative types have completely lost their minds with all the conversations around boning and contraceptives. Yeah I said it, boning.

You don't have to call it boning, of course. As a matter of fact, if you prefer we can call it engaging in coitus, communing, consummating, congressing, fornicating, making love, copulating, slapping skins, going at it like two wild dogs, sleeping together, mating, having relations, getting to know someone in the Biblical sense, going all the way, having intercourse, coupling, pillowing, bedding, mounting, making the beast with two backs, doing it, getting laid, laying pipe, making whoopee, getting some nookie, doing the horizontal mambo, bow-chika-bow-wow, getting busy, making babies, bumping uglies, cleaning the pipes, bumping and grinding, knocking boots, penetrating, deflowering, climbing Mount Pork-o-lay-la, poking, riding,
shagging, humping, hiding the salami, laying cable, injecting 10 cc's of hot flesh, administering a hot beef injection, boning, bonking, tapping, plugging, screwing, occupying Vagistan, sticking, balling, banging, shafting, Rogering, fucking, drilling, hitting, nailing, plowing, porking,   log jamming, railing, slamming, pounding, ramming, beating the pussy up, reaming, slaying, shattering the meat tunnel or my personal favorite...just straight fuckin'.

I would hate to live in a world where sex was only used for procreation.  I couldn't imagine living in a world where lovemaking, for the sheer joy of lovemaking was considered barbaric.  Contraceptives are an excellent way of enjoying life and being responsible at the same time.  Clearly there are far too many people in the world now.  It's unfortunate that many of the mother's of these oxygen thieves that have been speaking out against a woman's right to use contraceptives and choose to have children, didn't use contraceptives themselves.

I don't know about you, but I can't think of anything that I'd rather be doing than making love.  It's not dirty.
It's not ugly.
It's not nasty....and even if it is, I'd rather be doing that than anything else in the world.

I have one thing to say to those conservative types that are okay with our insurance paying for a monthly allotment of Viagra, but not contraceptives..............go fuck yourself!!!

Sex is good!!!  

Freedom of Choice

I never cease to be amazed at how a political party that is supposed to tout the need for government NOT to be involved in our personal choices and daily lives, can maintain such openly hypocritical stances.

How can that party firmly stand against the right for two consenting adults to marry?!?

Or how can that party stand against a woman's right to choose whether or not to carry and have a child?!?

How is it that old white men get to decide what a woman does with her body?!? In reference to the church, how does an old white haired man who wears a dress and who has never had sex before (not with a woman anyway) get to preach about sexuality and responsibility to a woman?!?

How does ANY of that remotely make sense?!?

I know I said that I was gonna blog about feet in my next post, but I got side tracked when I was watching Fox News today.  Those people are oxygen thieves.  I promise to make my next post about feet and don't forget, if you'd like to contribute a picture of your hooves to appear in that post, then please send it to Reggiesblogspot@yahoo.com

You know your man is suspect right?!?

  I hate Valentine's Day. 

Do you know why?!? Because all of us husbands and boyfriends and otherwise significant others and whatnot feel societies pressures to go out and buy overpriced Hallmark cards, Godiva chocolates, roses and jewelry. Why?!? Because if we don't, it means (or so we should all believe) that we don't love or care enough about our significant others to do just that.  Because if they don't receive that big bouquet of roses at work (or in the very least a whole shitload of tulips), then their man sucks and their relationship is whack!!!  We just don't care enough about our love interests to spend an obscene amount of money on this complete and utter nonsense.

It's all bullshit.

As unfair as I feel that Valentine's Day is for us men, it's even worse for women.  If they don't get anything or they're not going anywhere for dinner, then somehow they're not as desired as those who do.........which is even more bullshit.

Yes it's sad, but I digress...........

 I have a friend named 'Meka; and sadly on Valentine's Day 2012, 'Meka didn't get any flowers or candy or jewelry or even a cheap ass card purchased at a gas station. 'Meka didn't get shit. 'Meka didn't get shit because her man abruptly broke up with her to "according to her", spend more time with his "friend".  You know that friend that he's usually with when he's not with her.

 

I kinda feel for 'Meka because after she broke up with her last boyfriend (loser), she said that she was gonna stop looking in the wrong places for potential long term mates. So 'Meka followed her mother's advice (and to be honest my advice) and instead of going to a bar to find a man, she went to find her a man in church.

...and she found one alright...

I think where 'Meka failed is because when she went out to look for her man, common sense and logic flew straight out the window. The clues were there, she just refused to look particularly hard.

Things started off so well for her and her church guy.  They went to lunch or dinner, two or three times a week.

When I finally met him, I could see his situation was as plain as the powdered nose on his face.  I mean Stevie Wonder would have been able to see that her new guy was as sweet as a 20 pound bag of Domino's sugar. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, she couldn't see it.

Oh they spent all kinds of time together.  They went out for his and hers manicures and pedicures and that turned into his and hers eyebrow arching.

He likes to work out and lift weights daily; and he also likes to sit and watch other guys work out.

He even likes to watch videos of other men lifting weights and working out.

When he works out, he usually likes to watch himself in a mirror.

He even has a full length mirror in his shower.

He spends 20 minutes a day meticulously brushing his hair and scrubbing his face.

He's lived with the same roommate for more than three years.

Of course, he and his roommate spend a lot of time together too.

 He and his roommate regularly go away fishing 2 or 3 times a month; and while fishing season is year round here in South Carolina, I have a feeling that the only pole he has is the one he uses on his roommate.

She told me once that the one time that they attempted to have sex, he was unable to perform.  But that's probably only because he's saving himself for marriage.  He wants their wedding night to be special.

 

 I understood that she wanted a man. But did she need a man so bad that she'd have to end up being that man's beard?!? Oh and if you don't understand the reference, please refer to your Urban Dictionary.

Okay okay, this particular post isn't about one specific person (oh there's a 'Meka, but she didn't say all this stuff) But these are the types of excuses that I've heard three or four of my female friends make over the years about their gay boyfriend (why they couldn't see that I don't know).......and it always seems like they tell me this shit around Valentine's Day.  Yet another reason why I don't like this stupid holiday.


Oh and one more thing.  My next post will be about women's feet.  If you'd like to send a picture of your own feet to be in featured in that post, then please send your picture to Reggiesblogspot@yahoo.com.

I promise to be nice.

Fuck You!!!

 

I don't mean to go off on a rant here...........yeah..........yeah I do!!!

Fuck you!!!

You ignorant bitch!!! You are so incredibly shallow and wholly incapable of independent thought!!!

Fuck you and your fake ass concern about me and my family!!!

You know goddamned well that you don't even know my family!!!

Fuck you hard twice with a pinepple and stop asking me personal questions!!!

The reason I didn't tell you in the first goddamned place is because I didn't want you to know!!!

You gluttonous big collard green eating bitch I have no intention of telling you my business, so you can go around spreading it like a whore spreads her legs, like you do to everyone else!!!

Thank God you weren't born twins, because there couldn't possibly be that much stupid to go around!!!

Brush your fucking teeth, you nasty heifer!!!

Stop breathing on me with your husky hot breath, because your breath smells like wolf pussy and bear shit!!!

Fuck you!!!

By the way, I always see you when you look at my crotch. I just prefer to ignore it since I wouldn't think to piss on you if you were on fire!!! I find you to be physically repugnant, not to mention the plain and simple fact that you're a bit of a dullard!!!

Stop quoting the Bible at me, with your dumb as a bag of hammers ass!!! You're usually misquoting it anyway. Memorize the verses and understand the meaning before trying to educate my heathenous ass!!!

Don't tell me that you think I'm handsome again!!! I really don't want to have to ignore you yet again!!!

Please do me and the rest of the world a favor and go play on the interstate!!! Or better yet, please pour gasoline on yourself and play with matches you worthless piece of shit!!!

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!!!

Hopefully that didn't offend anyone....I just had to get that off my chest!!!

Anyone in particular you want to say fuck you to?!?

Bathroom etiquette

 There is such a thing as bathroom etiquette. But for some reason unbeknown to me, some folks are clearly ignorant of it.

 First of all, can a brother get a courtesy flush?!? I mean c'mon we've all gotta use it.  It's not your private dump.  Don't I deserve the opportunity to go in there without seeing the paint peeling off the walls because YOU decided to overdo it with the Burrito Supremes during lunchtime?!?  Why do you feel a need to fill up the bowl before flushing?!?
 Is it so hard for you to drop and flush?!?

 Please clean up after yourself. Your mother doesn't work here!!!

 Don't talk to me while I'm in the stall. I didn't come in there to talk to you; and please, if you're in there keep the chatter to a minimum.  If you ate too many bran muffins I don't want to have to hear your promises to God or yourself not to do it again!!!

 Don't talk on your phone while you're in the stall mounted on the porcelain God. It's just plain wrong; and please please please don't call me on the phone while you're in there.  Whatever you have to tell me can wait.

 Don't follow me in the bathroom asking me work related questions.  Whatever you want can wait until I get back to my office you needy bastard!!!  Can't I have a moment's peace?!?

 Flush the damned toilet and please use the toilet and not the floor!!! I don't need to know exactly what you did while you were in there!!!

 Don't stand next to me at the urinal, if there is another one further away.  I don't want to talk to you anyway and I sure as hell didn't go into the men's room for company.

 Why are you taking your coffee cup in the stall with you?!? Are you seriously that busy?!? Really?!?  You nasty bastard!!!

 I'd prefer you didn't talk to me while I'm standing at the urinal doing my fireman Bob impression. But if you must, don't look down; and if you do and you say something like WOW or IMPRESSIVE, then please don't expect a response.   The appropriate response is just a blank stare. Understand that look on my face is exactly what it looks like.  Oh and by the way, don't ever say another word to me again.

 When you're leaving, wash your nasty hands you filthy piece of shit!!!  If you don't and I see you, don't ever expect me to shake your hand again.  At that point and hence forward, you've lost your hand shaking privileges with me.

Oh and one more thing, if you've got mud butt, do I really need to hear all of that?!?  Can you please try your hardest to ease those potatoes out silently?!? Oh and please don't blow an o-ring while beseeching the porcelain God for mercy. Keep the sounds to a minimum............please.

My Moobshake!!!

On my way out of the office on Thursday afternoon, I stopped in the men's room to wash my hands.  I'm a serial handwasher, because I'm a germaphobe.  Whenever someone touches or shakes one of my hands, I'll immediately go and wash them. As I was walking in, I noticed one of the gentlemen I work with walking out of the far stall (my personal favorite...yeah like you don't have a favorite stall) without a shirt on. This isn't the first time I've seen him do this, that's just how he rolls. He's an awesome guy, though he is bit on the portly side. The messed up thing about him though is that he'll walk around with his shirt off and dude is sporting a set of double Ds on his chest. I have to tell you that a moobshake on a man is not a good look.

Truth be told, dude needs to wear a "bro" or maybe a mannzierre?!?

In all honesty, that's one of the reasons why I will exercise on a regular basis now, I'm trying to avoid titties.

I've heard women say a lot of things over the years, but I've yet to hear one say she likes titties on a man.

Is honesty really the very best policy?!?

 My grandmother, a temperate and God fearing woman throughout her life who was the finest person that I ever met, used to always say that honesty is the best policy.  

But is it really?!?

I like to be as honest as possible.........always.  But I find that the only person in the world that I have to lie to is my significant other.  To be honest, I think if I had always been honest with her, we wouldn't still be together.

Are you ALWAYS honest with your significant other?!?

Hating Christmas!!! Hating the Holiday Season!!!

I'm just not feeling the holiday spirit this year.  Now that my children are grown and I've yet to have any grandchildren, the season really hasn't held the same magic that it held for me a few short years ago. But this year's seasonal disgust and aggravation has nothing to do with that or the over commercialization of Christmas or the hoards of irate holiday bargain hunters.  Or even those people forever trying to get me to part with my hard earned cash for some godforsaken charity that I could give two shits about. It doesn't even have anything to do with the money I've spent this year for people that I don't care about whatsoever.  I know why and it has nothing to do with the season.  It's been eating at me like a parasite eating through a carcass.  It's more than just the usual crap. A couple of weeks ago I found out that my one and only son will be deployed with his unit to the Middle East in February.

 My son, the fruit of my loins.

I want to punch someone.........real bad!!!

Bah humbug!!!

Random thoughts

 Yesterday I had some wicked Mexican food.  It was absolutely delicious. But I will say this about said Mexican food, it was hot and spicy going in and just as hot and spicy coming out. So this morning as I sat on the porcelin God with a vicious case of mud butt and contemplated making an entirely different choice for lunch next time, I had time to think while my ass was mimicking a flamethrower (dropping the kids off by the pool, baking a loaf, stocking the porcelin lake with the brown trout...or whatever you like to call it).

 Why can't we call Herman Cain what he really is.....a horny old bastard?!? Isn't that all he really is?!? Is there really someone out there that actually thinks he was framed?!?  He's got more women coming out of the woodwork than Tiger Woods!! Can we all please stop pretending that this lecherous old prick was wronged?!?  He's apparently been boning half the women in Atlanta.  He'd probably fuck a woodpile if he thought a snake was in it.

 It occurs to me that child molesters have no value whatsoever to civilized society.  Would it be such a bad idea to put them all to death?!? I'm not talking about anything expensive like lethal injection or electrocution....I'm talking about a simple hanging.  What's the big deal?!?

Oh and one more random thought occurs to me.  When I was an undergraduate I considered pledging one of the fraternities on campus. However, I noticed that there were several young men in each fraternity on campus, that I had words with or some kind of altercation with before. Whether it was about my smart mouth or their girlfriend....or in some instances both, I figured that if I pledged, I'd probably warrant someone's special attention. It occured to me then, like it does now that the hazing thing is just stupid.  I watched it happen to my sister, cousins, friends and roommates; and I'm also sure that not one of them would stand up and admit that it happened to them now.  It's dumb, plain and simple.  Someone somewhere needs to stop this foolishness.  How many other young men and women have to die before we all realize that it's just dumb?!?

The shit we eat!!!

 Yesterday while I was at work, I wandered into the break room to pour my fifth or sixth cup of coffee of the day (yeah I know that ain't healthy).  While I was in there I struck up a conversation with my friend Michelle.  I like talking to her because she's usually very pleasant, she says what she thinks and not necessarily what you want to hear, she's no nonsense and we're of the same age.  Not only is she good people, but she's actually pretty funny most of the time. While we were talking she walked over to one of the vending machines and put some money in and selected an item.  I never use those infernal machines because I try to eat half way healthy when I'm at work; and besides, work usually kills my appetite anyway. I laughed when I saw what she was getting.  She laughed too, but she said what she got was so good, she usually eats them just about everyday.  At that point I took out my cellphone and took a picture of what she was holding. That's it in that first picture.

Usually those vending machines in our break room are full of the worst kind of crap. Whether it's the drink machines or those damned "food" machines that dispense their sugar laden or fat laden crap.  Oh I'm quite sure that just about all of us eat some kind of crap. I just refuse to eat the crap that comes out of those god awful vending machines at work. 

Truth be told, I absolutely love Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls.  I've eaten them for years.  Sure they're crap, but they're so goddamned good with a big cold glass of milk. 

One day I'll stop eating them, I'm sure...........or maybe not.  Over the last few years, I've already cut most of the unhealthy crap out of my diet, this is my one guilty pleasure (that I'll admit to). 

What kind of unhealthy crap do you like to eat....or drink?!?