Oh hell no.......and don't ask again. I'm not gonna be eating your food. So don't offer to bring me some of your world famous peach cobbler or that bean salad you make that'll make your tongue slap your brains clean out. I'm just gonna go ahead and take the zero. I'm not gonna be eating your food. I'm not gonna be eating anything at the office potluck.
There is no such thing as the "stomach flu" that's been going around the office. That's just nasty ass people that don't wash their goddamned hands; putting their paws in someone's food.
So don't bother asking me if I will be participating in the office potluck. To me, potluck equals nausea, stomach cramps, violent vomiting and wild bowels (yeah that kind of vicious diarrhea that'll make your ass feel like a flamethrower).
I don't know you, we just work together. I can see how nasty you are at work. Not washing your hands when you're in the bathroom. Scratching your ass or digging in it good and hard and then putting those french fries in your mouth in the breakroom. Digging in your nose right before you grab your cellphone and take that call you've been waiting on. Scratching your crotch and then sniffing your fingers. Sneezing into your bare hands and wiping it on your pants. I hear you talk about those cats at home, I just assume they're standing on your counter while you're making that potato salad....licking out of the bowl.....you nasty cow!!!
Nope, not this little black duck. I'm gonna take the zero. To me, office potlucks will wipe out a slew of people in the office quicker than Kryptonite will kill Superman. But it's not gonna happen to me......because I'm not eating anyting!!!
Nope not me!!! And please, don't ask again. I'm not gonna eat your nasty ass food!!!
Make my ass feel like a flamethrower?!? No thank you, I'm good.