Sunday, June 19, 2011

Masturbation

I must admit that I was more than a little amused  and even confused over the controversy surrounding Congressman Weiner over the last couple of weeks.  People were acting as if he were having sex with underage children or pissing on folks on camera or making babies with the hired help.  No, dude was just chatting women up online and working his gherkin. Like that doesn't happen all day every day.
Why is it that people are acting as if masturbation isn't normal?!?
Okay okay, I admit it; there was a time in my life when I was regularly chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, jerking off, playing with yourself, crowning the king, porking off, tootin' your horn, bashing the bishop, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, committing spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, diddling, frigging, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, stroking your shortie, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels or test-firing the old meat missile. Those were my teenage years.  Some of us get over it, some of us don't.  But clearly, there is nothing wrong with it. When you get down to it, it's actually safe sex.
Let he or she among you who have never known the pleasure of your own hand cast the first stone.
 C'mon what's the big deal?!? Dude was masturbating.  We've got real problems in this country.  Our deficit is tremendous. We're involved in a couple of completely pointless wars. Unemployment is a problem for more than 9% of Americans that want to work. For my dynamic, men of color, unemployment has been double digits for a very long time. Foreclosures have cost tens of thousands of Americans their piece of the American dream. Gas prices are on the way up again. Our economy is in the shitter and entirely too many of my fellow Americans honestly believe that the way to solve our economic woes are more tax cuts for the richest 1 percent and corporations.........as if that hasn't already been tried. It would seem to me that masturbating is the least of our problems.  Besides it's so prevalent among teenagers that I'm sure that a high percentage of them have tennis elbow........and they don't even play tennis.
Maybe we should all masturbate more?!? Masturbation isn't sex with a hooker or even a stranger. Isn't masturbation sex with someone you love?!?

34 comments:

  1. ROTFL....

    I agree. Nothing wrong with getting in touch with yourself.

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  2. Love this blog entry. The last sentence sums it up.

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  3. Aren't we all supposed to be in touch with ourselves LeeLee?

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  4. Doesn't it Daij? I just don't understand why this whole thing was blown out of proportion.

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  5. Lol...love the names u used and I agree that shouldn't have been breaking news.

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  6. Far too many of the people in this country are seriously in need of an enema Budda.

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  7. i have never understood how private communication between two people is considered "ok" to publicize... not even if politicians and/or celebrities are involved... im sure glad that no one is putting my private texts and emails out there.

    ive always sot of "felt" for public figures... how horrible to always have to be so careful... to have people investigating and watching every action... every word... scrutinizing every communication with another person that they make.

    and that weiner guy... i mean damn... youd think life would have been hard enough (no pun intended) to go through with a name like that... but then to have a big public scandal involving your penis?!? lol i mean COME ON... you cant make this isht up!

    and i have to agree... there are way more important things the media should be highlighting and drawing the populations attention to... but it wont sell papers like a hot weiner head line lol... yanno?

    i go nothin bad to say about people who choose to rub one out now and then on their own... its normal... and its safe.

    you cant catch an STD or keep and freaky secrets from yourself... so i endorse it!

    help prevent the spread of aids... go touch yourself! if God didnt want us to play with our stuff... he woulda gave us shorter arms. lol

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  8. Hell, some folks need to try it. It might relax em' and release some of the pent up tension that makes them Assholes.

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  9. Yeah right Michelle?!?

    But trust me, 20 years from now he'll still be that former congressman that was forced to resign from office, because he was sending pictures of his dick through the Internet and jerking off while talking about fucking.

    Is that a crime?!?

    Clearly not....but we are hypocrites. You know that and I know that as well.

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  10. Yeah Wizzy Jr, pent up rage like The Hulk or backed up sperm like those Vulcans and their pointy ears.

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  11. Self love is the business and a huge stress reliever for myself. Its the reason why you have that "multi-purpose" rag laying around lol

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  12. If I ever come to your house and I grab it to wipe my glasses off stop me BT.

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  13. Wicked post Reggie your descriptions of Masturbation had me sticthes "chokin' the chicken" LOL.......exactly why is this dude being penalised for getting up close and personal with himself. We all do I have days when I just feel horny and heck I become one with nature:))))

    We are always told how important it is to get to grips with the inner sanctum so why not.

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  14. Who does masturbation hurt? Where's the victim? I just don't get it.

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  15. I don't see a problem with it...it's healthy, sanitizing... that is all.

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  16. The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly. That's why I'm proud to say that I was the best that I ever had.

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  17. TGIF Mr. Reggie!

    well it's been said (no scientific proof) that masturbation makes you blind. as for the deficit and economic woes? blame the wank..er..bankers :)

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  18. Chrome one things for sure, one of the best things about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it

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  19. lmao I don't see the whole tantrum neither but you just killed my love for helmans mayo in this post lol.
    x

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  20. Hell, everyone has done it or is doing it! The first orgasm I ever had, I gave it to myself! Shit, it's normal. How da heck ya gonna have phone sex without it? LOL

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  21. Helmanns Ms. Nana? Not me, I'm a Miracle Whip kinda guy.

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  22. BayouCreole are you doing it right now? You must have a hands free device.

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  23. Reggie, I nominate you for Congress.

    I feel like Weiner was a pussy for resigning; he should have rode it out. The only reason some Democrats were acting so outraged was because they didn't like him. But at least he was outspoken, even during the times when they wished he would shut the hell up.

    As far as I'm concerned, with how things are now, we need to give ourselves some sort of pleasure...especially if The White House doesn't get their acts together by August 2nd.

    (goes to find her little friend)

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  24. Yes indeed No Labels, it is what it is. They'd all be a lot happier if instead of going to lunch they just went back to their own offices for a little self indulgence.

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  25. And I saw you touching innocent children JPII, so... be quiet because you could lose more than I can do. lol

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