Monday, January 3, 2011

Sheena had a weiner!!!

Last week I ended up laughing at something that I probably shouldn't have. But hey it's not like that's the first time that I've ever done that.  You see, last week a friend of mine and I met at a bar and grill for lunch. Mike and I have been friends for years and occasionally we'll get together to catch up or just chew the fat, but I hadn't seen him in awhile.  He's funny as hell and he's always on the lookout for his next ex-wife. He's been married three times already and once again, he's single. Anyway for lunch  I had a chef salad and a club soda and as usual he had a mostly liquid lunch. The simple truth was that I had to go back to work after lunch and he was off for the week.  But that wouldn't have mattered, he's always had a thirst for alcohol, he likes to get his drink on.  After he'd had about 4 or 5 very large beers, he ended up approaching a "woman" who was sitting at the bar making eyes at him. He hadn't initially noticed "her" because he had his back turned to her, so I was actually the first one to see that "she" kept making eyes in our direction. I'm pretty sure that "she" was making eyes at me, but I wasn't interested; so being the good friend that I am, I hipped him to the attention we were getting.  Of course, he was slightly intoxicated when he walked over to say "hi"; before beating a quick retreat back to our table.  Me being the subtle type I asked him if he got "his" number and laughed.  Then, of course, my friend was mad at me because I'd failed to point out to him that "she" was in fact a "he".  I'm one of those people that thinks it's funny when a man dressed like a woman attempts to pick up unsuspecting guys.  For the life of me I've never understood how guys can't see men dressed in women's clothes from a mile away. "She" had hands like baseball mitts, feet that looked like boots and a huge Adam's apple to boot.

Just like Tone Loc said....

I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena

I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
Sure "she" looked like this from the back.
But "she" looked like this from the front.
Now this certainly isn't the first time that I've seen a man out dressed like a woman.  I remember once years ago when my buddy Chaka and I were in this club in Montgomery Alabama, when a shemale picked him up. When I pointed out to him that he was dancing with and kissing on a man, all hell broke loose that night.  That shemale barely escaped a serious beat down.
  While I've always been the happy go lucky sort, my boy Chaka was definitely the violent type.  Before that night (or rather that morning since it was quite late) was over, Chaka pulled a gun on me and threatened to blow my brains out if I ever breathed a word of what happened to him that night.  Of course, Chaka also once pulled a gun on me and threatened to blow my brains out if I ever laid a hand on his sister. His sister, Shae, was cute; but she was also a little too young for me. Yeah, it was shortly thereafter that Chaka and I stopped hanging out anyway.
  I don't hate on anyone for loving who they love or getting their freak on the way they want to.  After all, this is the land of the free and the home of the brave and all that shit. It's supposed to be a free country, so if there is something you'd like to do.......then you should be doing it here without shame or explanation to the next man, just as long as what you're doing is legal.  I don't advocate violence against anyone, it's just never been my way. But I also believe that men that dress up like women run the risk of going to an early grave, if not a serious beat down.


  1. That big beast from the Real Hoodrats of the ATL and Wendy Williams would both cause me to pause.
    I just had a guy named "Miss Ricky" try to hit on me over New Year's.
    These days I ask every woman if she has a dick tucked back.

  2. That's just it John, although I've seen a few shemales and known that's what they were; I wonder how many I've seen and didn't know.

    With cosmetic surgery and hormones and makeup, who's to say we don't see these guys daily and just not know.

    I don't know if I'll ever be asking "every" woman if she has a dick tucked back John....but maybe it's not such a bad idea.

  3. reggie... im like you... well.. in this respect anyways lol... i dont hate on anyone for their sexual preferences... what you or anyone else does in the privacy of their own nekkidness is their own business... and i am in no position to judge...

    but i hate a liar... and telling a lie like THAT... well... youre bound to get AND DESERVE whats comin to you when you withold such.... sensitive information.

  4. Well... not EVERY woman but quite a few.
    I used to always use this line when I was younger.
    Most of the time they got mad and started yelling.
    Then they come back to tell me to feel their real breasts.
    Then they ask to touch my crotch to see if I'm really a man.
    Then they ask me if I'm gay.
    Then I (if they looked good) we'd end up hooking up.
    It was a win-win.

  5. Dayum, now where did my comment go? Okay, so in the A we see more than we care for of the transcender type, but i can't for the life of me wonder why men can't see what we see. Even the women who pretend to be men tying up their chests, and acting all hard are a dead giveaway. I guess it's true what they say, guys are into the visuals, though blurry with a few drinks a big azz is still a big azz, huh? lol.

  6. That's some "crying game" stuff going on right there! I loved that movie.

  7. lol I cosign with Michelle. But I can tell a mile away. Even if the 'woman' is petite (small-framed like John Leguizamo in Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Miss Julie Newmar) if a woman is overly feminine, she's suspect.

  8. Happy New Year Dude

    You know as they say sometimes men can't see the WOOD for the trees lol....some of us like our coffee strong and black some prefer a little sugar and cream either we all raise an eyebrow every so often but really who are we to judge!!!!!!

    Hmmm Reggie you know a friend is like fine wine they get better as the years go by. But if that wine is not fermenting right yeah get RID!!!!!

  9. I met her in a club down in old Soho
    Where you drink champagne and
    It tastes just like Coca Cola, C-O-L-A cola

    She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
    I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice
    She said Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola, L-L-Lola

    Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy
    But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
    Oh my Lola, L-L-Lola

    Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
    Why she walked like a woman but talked like a man
    Oh my Lola, L-L-Lola, L-L-Lola...


  10. The rule seems to be: a masculine-looking man, no matter how handsome will make an UGLY-azz drag queen. A pretty man is a tad more convincing. Still, very few can pull that gender-bending thing off w/out detection. But regardless of this, drag queens & trannies are still MALE & many are strong enough, angry & bold enough to kick some str8 cat's azz, if attacked. Word.


  11. Of all situations to be in Michelle, you'd think that person would want to be as honest as possible.

    See, that's just why I don't stuff a sock in my pants. Eventually what's done in the dark will come to the light.

  12. Damn John, you got to feel on their ( @ ) with that line?!?

    Who's better than you?!?

  13. MizRepresent I've yet to see a man with an ass like Kim Kardashian's or Serena Williams. I guess the centaur-like ass is a woman's thing.

  14. BayouCreole there used to be this cheesy movie theatre on Veterans Blvd in Metairie that my children's doctor owned. I saw The Crying Game at that movie theatre. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I took my wife and we went to a matinee. There were only about 6 or 8 people in there with us and when dude came out of the bathroom with no pants on my wife looked at me and said "WTH let's go Reggie". I laughed at her and told her that I spent too much money on popcorn, Cokes and jujubees to get up and leave. That is an excellent movie, one of my all time favorites.

  15. Daij that's where I think that cross dressers go totally wrong. They always go over the top with that shit. It sticks out like a turd in a punchbowl.

  16. ChilledLeo I prefer plenty of cream and sugar in my coffee and I also prefer my women to have real ( @ )( @ ) and a poonanny!!!!

  17. Damn Shady_Grady....

    I know all there is to know about the crying game
    I've had my share of the crying game
    First there are kisses, then there are sighs
    And then before you know where you are, you're saying goodbye

    One day soon, I'm gonna tell the moon about the crying game
    And if he knows, maybe he'll explain

    Why there are heartaches, why there are tears?
    And what to do to stop feeling blue, when love disappears?

    First there are kisses, then there are sighs
    And then before you know where you are, you're saying goodbye

    Don't want no more of the crying game
    Don't want no more of the crying game

  18. You're right Moanerplicity, there are plenty of homothugs out there. That's just why I leave them mofos the hell alone.

    Can you imagine anything worse happening to a straight guy than having some homothug kick his ass?!?

  19. Reggie this shit ring here has never happened to me. But it has happened to a homie of mine while we were on maneuvers in Korea. But most Asian dudes look girlish anyway. I agree with daji. Most dudes especially the feminine gay dudes act more like a woman than most chicks do. A dead give away. But I have a question that is off the subject a little......why do gay dudes like real feminine dudes and why do lesbians like manly bitches? Don't that seem a little ass backwards to you? I mean if a dude likes dudes or a chick likes chicks why do the dudes go to girlyly dudes and the women go with shemales? It just makes no sense to me.

  20. Shame on you! if you were aware that gurlfriend was really boifriend then you could have mentioned it to your buddy to keep commotion down, but I kinda understand the humor associated with men dressing as women and are out on the prowl.

    Pleased to hera that you and Chaka are no longer hanging out, he is to violent and that can become very problematic for all parties associated with him.

    Like you, I do not give much thought to whom a person chooses to date, do the damn thang or fall in love with; to each his own.

    I recall years ago a STR8 friend was kicking with a drag queen and he had been told, but he refused to believe it whenwas told and he decided to go for it, they ended up dating for quite sometime. :)

  21. Maneuvers?!? What kinda maneuvers were your boy doing?!?

    As to what attracts one person to another....that's a good question. I like women with nice ( @ )( @ ) and some men like women with a certain color hair and still others like a woman that's either skinny as hell or as thick as a cold bowl of grits. To be honest, one of the reasons that I actually posted the blog was because I was curious as to what motivated men and women to do this type of thing, particularly since it's so dangerous.

    There are plenty of gay and lesbian and bisexual people that come to my blog, I am hoping that someone answers your questions and mine.

    When I first started blogging on Yahoo 360 I would write a blog and then just let people comment on it without interacting with them by replying to their comments. That shit was no fun at all. When I reply to comments, it keeps the good times coming.

    Hopefully someone will step forward and answer our questions. I always look forward to the dialogue and interaction Dirty Red.

  22. Chet I laughed my ass off at him. Trust me, he doesn't want to see me again anytime soon.....because I will most assuredly bring that shit up.

    Chet it's not possible for a man to actually be straight and "date" a drag queen. That's some Cry Game craziness brother.

  23. LOL @ the Tone Loc lyrics. This post literally had me LOL. Reggie you're way too much.

  24. OMG! Speak on it Reggie!! I am so irked by men who dress like women and don't think we know! DUDE! WE SEE YOU IN THERE!

    I also think it's a huge mistake for them to pretend to be female and it's some sort of surprise to the unsuspecting male Surprise I got a dick?? O_o. They need to cut that ish OUT! Too much potential for tragedy! SMH!

  25. lol ewwwwlll! Man, no one deserves to just get beat but when you do stuff like that there are repercussions lol.Men don't play that!

  26. GorgeousPuddin I can remember a few times over the years when I've been standing somewhere shaking my head at the brother with the wig and the dress on with a dick bigger than mine perpetrating a fraud like that.

  27. Ms. Camile they do that shit as if there aren't hard hitting brothers out there that kill.

  28. Ouch, that must have been a scary experience! However, I doubt that the Sheenas out there actually try to trick a man into believing that they are biological women and then just hope that he'd be down with the weiner when he sees it. It just seems too risky and unreasonable! My guess is that they think the guy can tell they are transgender and that this is his preference. A case of miscommunication, methinks.

  29. Ah Reggie, another work of art! I have yet to see a believable looking shim in my life time. Honesty is always the best policy, be who you are or risk an ass kicking.

    Twitter has been all about the homothug lately. I'm going to need someone to break that down for me or blog about it.

  30. i feel you deserve a beatdown if you keep that kinda "info" from the person your hitting on. You never know what someone is into *side eye* but give them a choice...or ya ass might caught one of them old fashion ass whoopins

  31. Catintherain I have a cousin that ended up drunk and received a little "oral delight" one night from what he termed "a pretty hard chick". He SAID that he's not sure that "she" was actually a "she". That statement spoke volumes to me. I've always liked pretty, soft women; but there are men out there that just want some head.

  32. Mlvlatina I think that I might try to do that in my next blog. I make it a point to comment on all kinds of people's blogs. There are more than a couple of homosexual bloggers whose blogs I comment on. I'm hoping that one or some of them will come over and leave a comment or two.

  33. LYKEBUDDA like I said I'm a peaceful man; but I would be ready to box if someone I thought was a woman kissed me and they turned out to be a man. I wouldn't find it funny or cute at all.