Sheena had a weiner!!!

Last week I ended up laughing at something that I probably shouldn't have. But hey it's not like that's the first time that I've ever done that.  You see, last week a friend of mine and I met at a bar and grill for lunch. Mike and I have been friends for years and occasionally we'll get together to catch up or just chew the fat, but I hadn't seen him in awhile.  He's funny as hell and he's always on the lookout for his next ex-wife. He's been married three times already and once again, he's single. Anyway for lunch  I had a chef salad and a club soda and as usual he had a mostly liquid lunch. The simple truth was that I had to go back to work after lunch and he was off for the week.  But that wouldn't have mattered, he's always had a thirst for alcohol, he likes to get his drink on.  After he'd had about 4 or 5 very large beers, he ended up approaching a "woman" who was sitting at the bar making eyes at him. He hadn't initially noticed "her" because he had his back turned to her, so I was actually the first one to see that "she" kept making eyes in our direction. I'm pretty sure that "she" was making eyes at me, but I wasn't interested; so being the good friend that I am, I hipped him to the attention we were getting.  Of course, he was slightly intoxicated when he walked over to say "hi"; before beating a quick retreat back to our table.  Me being the subtle type I asked him if he got "his" number and laughed.  Then, of course, my friend was mad at me because I'd failed to point out to him that "she" was in fact a "he".  I'm one of those people that thinks it's funny when a man dressed like a woman attempts to pick up unsuspecting guys.  For the life of me I've never understood how guys can't see men dressed in women's clothes from a mile away. "She" had hands like baseball mitts, feet that looked like boots and a huge Adam's apple to boot.

Just like Tone Loc said....

I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena

I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

Sure "she" looked like this from the back.

But "she" looked like this from the front.

Now this certainly isn't the first time that I've seen a man out dressed like a woman.  I remember once years ago when my buddy Chaka and I were in this club in Montgomery Alabama, when a shemale picked him up. When I pointed out to him that he was dancing with and kissing on a man, all hell broke loose that night.  That shemale barely escaped a serious beat down.

  While I've always been the happy go lucky sort, my boy Chaka was definitely the violent type.  Before that night (or rather that morning since it was quite late) was over, Chaka pulled a gun on me and threatened to blow my brains out if I ever breathed a word of what happened to him that night.  Of course, Chaka also once pulled a gun on me and threatened to blow my brains out if I ever laid a hand on his sister. His sister, Shae, was cute; but she was also a little too young for me. Yeah, it was shortly thereafter that Chaka and I stopped hanging out anyway.

  I don't hate on anyone for loving who they love or getting their freak on the way they want to.  After all, this is the land of the free and the home of the brave and all that shit. It's supposed to be a free country, so if there is something you'd like to do.......then you should be doing it here without shame or explanation to the next man, just as long as what you're doing is legal.  I don't advocate violence against anyone, it's just never been my way. But I also believe that men that dress up like women run the risk of going to an early grave, if not a serious beat down.