Friday, May 14, 2010

Public Service


For those of you that don't know, I volunteer my time at least once a month to fulfill what I see as my civic duty. I go out with a few others to feed the homeless women and their children in Charleston, South Carolina. I look forward to that day, the last Tuesday of every month. I think that everyone should give back to their community in some way. Sometimes when we give back, we may end up spending an hour doing something that will significantly impact someone else's life. More often than not, when we do these things we do them not only for those less fortunate, but just as much for ourselves. I feel sorry for the person that wouldn't understand that simple fact.
I've lived on a golf course for five years now; and yet, I've never once played a round of golf. I'm just not moved by the game, but I know plenty of people that are. I used to say that one of these days that I'd get around to learning to play; but hey, who's kidding who?!? I'm just not interested in playing golf. One thing that I am interested in doing is getting some daily exercise. So everyday I hurry home from work with the intention of walking around the golf course behind my house. For the most part, I do walk the golf course daily. As a matter of fact, there are times when I walk around the golf course more than once a day. Last summer I made a concerted effort to cut back on red meat and fried foods, drink more water and exercise daily. By doing that last year I lost around 35 pounds.

When I'm walking around the golf course, I'm usually very focused on getting around it as quickly as possible. I also try hard to avoid the golfers; because to be honest, some of them are quite nasty and most of them don't want me out there anyway. If they miss a putt, it's my fault or if they hook a tee off.........you can bet I'm to blame. I'll usually wait patiently for them to take their shots before hurrying around them. When I walk, I do keep my head on a swivel; because I'd prefer not to get hit in the back of the head by one of those hard little white balls. I've never been hit, but I've encountered some angry little men out there playing and they're not above saying something nasty or warning me to be careful, since they haven't quite perfected their games. They usually say that with a smile. As I said before, I've never been hit. But I reserve the right to find whomever is the first to hit me and beat the living shit outta him. Trust me, I'll do it.

Anyway today while walking along the golf course I walked up on an elderly gentleman alone playing a round of golf. It's not unusual to see individuals playing rounds of golf by themselves, I see men like that everyday. Just like everyone else, I waited patiently for him to take his shot, before trying to move along and go on my way. As I hurried along, this older gentleman actually followed me in his cart. When he had pulled up alongside of me, he greeted me. He then got out of the golf cart and walked up to me and started talking about the weather and then he started talking about golf. I wanted to turn and leave for two reasons. First, because I was in a hurry to finish my walk and go home and eat.........I hadn't eaten all day; and secondly, because I wasn't feeling particularly well. All week long I'd been dealing with a severe cold. To be honest, my head felt like a frozen pineapple. The gentleman, Mr. Butler (he'd introduced himself) then started talking about politics (one of my favorite subjects......he was a staunch conservative) and his time spent fighting the Germans in World War II; and then on to the real reason that he wanted to talk to me. His wife of more than 60 years (he was probably 85 or so) had died the previous month. When he said this, he unashamedly wept openly. He spent the next half hour talking to me about his wonderful wife, his daughter from Abita Springs, Louisiana, his son who lives in Florida and about a bunch of his war buddies........who were now mostly deceased. I was seriously moved by this man. Not because we had anything in common, because we honestly don't. But because when I looked into his teary eyes, I could see myself in the future. When we finally shook hands and I turned to walk away, he looked at me square in the eye and said "thank you".
Most people don't really know me. I tend to hide so much of myself. I remember one of my business associates laughing and saying that I was probably the world's first living heart donor....since I rarely showed emotion at work.
Volunteerism and giving back have always been important to me. I'm not rich and I probably won't ever be, I'm okay with that reality. So often people try and validate their existences by their material worth. All this man wanted was for someone.......anyone to spend a few minutes talking to him. He needed that, just like sometimes we all need something. The time that I spent talking to him was time well spent. I can only hope that decades from now when I need someone to talk to, that someone will take the time to talk to me too.

30 comments:

  1. Wow.

    I think that there are times when the universe sanctions all of us to be that listening ear for another person. It seems that it is usually someone that has no real connection points-yet they do. It is not difficult to feel the man's pain over losing his spouse. That's a universe sense that every human being can relate to.

    It sounds like it was a moving experience for you too.

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  2. Yep, eventually we all, if we're lucky, will be that old man. I too hope someone will listen. I'm kind of a cynic so I tend to doubt it but who knows. But it couldn't hurt to put some karma in the bank and hope it comes back.

    Nice post.

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  3. MsLadyDeborah I haven't stopped thinking about that man since yesterday.

    He apologized to me at one point and told me that he wasn't the type of man that could be accused of talking too little.

    I've said that myself many times in the past. Maybe that old man and I are more alike than I originally thought.

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  4. Val I've been thinking about that karma all day long. I suppose that's the human element in all of us. We're supposed to not want to see anyone in that kind of pain. Love and grief are the fire that we all burn in from time to time.

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  5. reggie, my friend... i'll always be ready to listen to you :)

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  6. and i think its wonderful that you give of yourself and your time every now and again... more people should do that!

    if there were a homeless shelter in my town... i might just do the same.

    i read somewhere that something like 80% of the most intelligent people volunteer their time to some do some sort of charity work or another... ;) i think you fit right into that statement.

    keep up the good work... im sure good things will come back to you because of it.

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  7. Awww. This one brought a tear. And because you spent that time with him, I truly believe you will be rewarded in your old age. Giving back truly feeds the soul.

    ~Cam

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  8. You know Michelle, I go out and do that for the homeless just as much for me, as I do it for them. I would have a very difficult time even explaining how it makes me feel. All it took was once and I was hooked. I think in some fashion or another, I'll always do that.

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  9. Cam I couldn't agree with you more. I can only hope that when my time comes that someone is there for me too.

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  10. There are times when someone is just looking for an ear. Astute individuals may or may not be in the mood to lend that ear but of course always stand up to the plate. Community service sometimes is just time given to an unknown soul who is looking for someone just to listen.

    Reggie as stated above, Karma in the bank is always a good thing. Hat's off

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  11. Folk it was an even exchange, he gave as much as I got.

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  12. Wow. That's very touching. I think the best thing you CAN give to anyone is your time. I worked with homeless people for 5 years. Of those 5 years, the most I physically "helped" was I helped one homeless woman get housing. In 5 years of work! However, I know the true differences I made do not lie in physical or material success. I commend people who go feed homeless people but that's not really helping much. What really matters is that you talk to them and show interest in them and treat them like human beings. Because most of them don't have the luxury of being treated well. A simple smile, a conversation, a hug, and an open ear go soooooo much farther than a bowl of soup or a trip to see a social worker. I'm glad you were there for that man when he needed a person to talk to. That's awesome.

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  13. I can dig it. Blessing can come in many forms and on that day u were his. Good Read!

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  14. don't know Rexi, if you're hungry and your prospects aren't looking too good; then some chicken and greens go a long damned way.

    When I initially went I was rather curious about the whole process. I found that the people that we were feeding were both grateful and desperate. I could look into the eyes of their hungry children and see my own two little ones (well they're not so little now). I've worked hard to feed and clothe my own children. I'm sure that they love their children just as much as I love mine. I can only imagine the anguish over not knowing where your child's next meal is coming from.

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  15. Thanks Champ; but you know what, he was my blessing that day too.

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  16. You walked the course and talked about life.
    Now get a set of clubs and have a reason to be out there.
    I suck in golf but I have fun playing.
    Not with the game itself but with the interactions between a group of friends who may need to spend a couple hours talking about something (or even nothing).

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  17. John I have no desire to play. I walked today and just enjoyed the walk itself, as well as the scenery. Anyday I'll see ducks, geese, wild turkey, deer, possum and today I saw a six or seven foot alligator.

    Brother, I'm just not moved by the game. Hey John, let's go bowling brother!!!

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  18. It was a rather nice experience for me Brother MK.

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  19. You will surely be taken care of. My God mom just told me about a story of her drunk uncle. Her mom was mad because he drunk up all his money and had no food so he came to their house expecting a hand out. She wouldn't let him come in, made him sit out on the porch. My God mom snuck him a sandwich and something to drink. He said "I'm going to remember you in my will." And yeaaars after, conveniently when she was having financial trouble, she found out that he'd really left her all his inheritance. All because of one small act of kindness.

    We live in a world of reaping and sewing. EVERYTHING you sew will reap a harvest.

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  20. Camile in the short period of time that I've been reading your blog, I can see that you're a very spiritual person. I truly believe that the world would be a helluvalot better off if there were more people like you. Camile I also know that many people believe that the things that happen to them are the result of their actions. Do you think that people intentionally do acts of kindness to receive "blessings"; and if they do intentionally do that, should they actually receive blessings?

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  21. I loved this post. You gave that man what he needed: Your time and attention. So many people would have blown him off, I'm glad you did not.

    It's amazing how the smallest acts of kindness can mean so much to people. Throughout my life I have been blessed to be on the receiving end of such acts - esp. when I've been on the verge of losing faith in humanity. I hope I have been as kind in my life.

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  22. There was a time in my life when I wouldn't have spent much time speaking with that man KST, but I'm a different person now. I probably needed that interaction just as much as he did. I certainly hope that when my time comes that someone takes pity on me and does the same thing for me.

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  23. in the line of work im in patient care training they tell u the most important gift u can give a patient is extra time to listen to them let em vent and so on...we never kno if they are cut off from the world at home or have zero family support. anyone who has a heart wud take out that extra time...Reggie im glad u dont wear ur heart upon ya sleeve as long as its transparent when situations like these arise.

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  24. There is a little humanity within all of us Angie. I'm just glad that he chose to speak to me. He made my day.......he really did.

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  25. Bowling?
    We used to golf on Wednessday afternoons and then bowl at night.
    (I suck at bowling too.)
    The guy with the smallest difference between his golf score and his bowling score had to pay for the whole day for everyone.
    (A 120 in golf and a 121 in bowling would make a man go broke.)
    I don't really like bowling either.
    It was just an excuse for us to get together with they guys and talk ish without our women around to whine about women's stuff.

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  26. John that sounds like an outstanding "dude's day out", but I'd prefer to do that without stepping foot on a golfcourse. Hey, what do you say we start the day off bowling and then go to a stripclub and talk shit!!!

    That sounds like a plan.

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