Friday, October 23, 2009

Complexion




Bias and prejudice based on the color of ones skin is just as American as apple pie. No we Americans certainly didn't invent prejudice, but I do believe that we have perfected it.

Since coming to this country my people have been subjected to a multitude of racist sins by those who kidnapped us and brought us here. Through the years my people watched Caucasians discriminate against not only those of us of African descent; but a multitude of others as well. Our so called founding fathers and their descendants joyfully discriminated against those people of Asian descent, Spanish descent, Italian descent, Polish descent; and we even watched them discriminate against the original Americans, the Native Americans. They practically hunted them until the brink of extinction. I guess that was their reward for helping Europeans to thrive in this wild and sometimes dangerous land. And after watching all of this silly tired ass discrimination what pray tell did we do;?!? Well of course, we started discriminating against each other. Huh? What? Would we possibly do something as stupid as that.........well yeah, I guess we did.

I think it's both a shame and a scandal that there are people of African descent that hate on other people of African descent merely because their respective skin tones are different. The lighter skinned black man against the darker skinned black man, as it were. Whether its a mentality spawned in the battle between the "field hands" or the "house niggas"; or more likely, learned behavior from a negative example, its just a sad and tired phenomenon.

When I was a kid I remember watching a rather interesting episode of Star Trek; in which two races had systematically annihilated one another. One race was black on the left side of its body and white on the right side of its body and the other race was exactly the opposite. Even as a child I understood that this hour of episodic television; though campy as hell, was dedicated to the utter stupidity of inherent prejudice and racism, both in our society and throughout the world.

For the record, I've always thought that it is rather silly for people of different races to hate each other merely because they are different, that's so goddamned simple minded and short sighted. There are far better reasons to hate people than just because the pigment of their skin differentiates from yours. I have been fortunate enough to have dear friends that are people of color and Caucasian and even Asian. We all need to learn to celebrate the differences in all of us rather than focus on hating the differences. I went to a historically black university and while I was there Spike Lee's "School Daze" came out; and ironically it somewhat mirrored life on my campus. Yes, sometimes the movie was to the extreme, but not by that much. Anyone who went to one of the HBCU's or is familiar with any of the predominantly African American fraternities and sororities will know what I'm talking about. I try hard to see the beauty in all people.

I too have been accused of being "color struck" because I went out with so many light skinned sister's; but most of them actually asked me out, not the other way around. The thing that I have always appreciated about being a man of color is the extraordinary variety of complexions that our women actually come in; and there never seemed to be enough time for me to waste time focusing on any one particular shade, because I have mad love for them all.

When are we going to learn to love one another for what we are and not hate on one another for what we're not?!?

38 comments:

  1. :) well said reggie.
    I'm all about the love.

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  2. :) well then im on the right track... because julius' complexion is WAY darker than mine LOL

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  3. Reggie great post! Everybody should experience love...If not life, will be recorded as waste...I had a girlfriend who I grew up with during the 70's...She was almost white...Val caught alot of hate from girls and boys because of her complexion...But she was good people who would do any thing for you...I remember one day she made a statement that I have never forgotten: I don't understand why people don't want me to be happy....At that time she could not understand why black people were hating on her.

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  4. When I was dating, I dated only dark skin women. My brother used to joke that I liked them dark, the darker the better. And I did find these women attractive, but that is not the only reason I sought out darker women to date.

    I sought them out because light skinned women frightened me. When I was growing up, light skinned women were supposedly so much better, so I did not approach them because I didn't want to be humiliated by being turned down by them.

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  5. Personally, complexion is still an issue for me at times. I'm comfortable & happy being brown skinned, but, it bothers me the way I sometimes feel I have to compensate or that I still get the "you're pretty for a dark skinned girl line".

    Just a few weeks, I go I checked out globalgrind.com's list of the hottest Hip-Hop wifeys and each was either light or white with long hair. Complexion is a perception issue that we all deal with and it's completely unnecessary.

    Reggie, like you I wish it was all about the love but then ppl. would have to grow up & embrace themselves.

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  6. Brother Reggie

    When are we going to learn to love one another for what we are and not hate on one another for what we're not?!?

    First, there is no we. You must accept that truth. Humanity hasn't been one race functionally, since the rise of the pharoah of kemet, at the least.
    Second, to the answer, when other individuals stop taking advantages of inequalities based on differing demographics, then the individual will be allowed to love all others without restriction.

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  7. JJBrock I remember being called "Old Yella" and "high yella nigga" and "green eyed faggot nigga"; and no one white ever called me that.

    When will we learn to love one another?!? We've gone way out of our way to hate on each other in a way that no one has done before. There were times in my life when I wasn't necessarily surprised to be disrespected by Caucasians.....but not by my brothers and sisters.

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  8. Max Reddick let me tell you that when I was dating women back in the day, I didn't turn down nothing but my collar. I was never moved by complexion. As long as she was sexy and the booty and the ( @ )( @ ) were right....you could find Reggie there.

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  9. Loudpen we need to close ranks on those closeminded motherfuckers who look at our darkerskinned brothers and sisters and see ugly. I have always been sexually stimulated by the thought of my skin against all the hues of the "sister rainbow". Whether it was dark or light, if she was sexy, it was right!!! I honestly didn't care if her nipples were light brown or black, I just wanted her to be gorgeous.

    I feel sorry for the people that can't look at a beautiful woman of color and not see beauty. I feel so very sorry for them.

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  10. Michelle you really ought to "repost" that story that you wrote on Yahoo 360 about the trials and tribulations that you and Julius experienced when you first met.

    That's as moving a lovestory as story as I've read online. I remember reading that a couple of years ago and feelings as if I'd known you my whole life.

    You're an excellent writer.

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  11. Brother MK if WE can't love each other, no one else will possibly be able to love us.

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  12. Michelle, without a doubt, you're my favorite Canadian in all the world!!!

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  13. Everything you said ain't nothin' but TRUTH.

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  14. That's because I've got no reason to lie to you Wizzy Jr.

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  15. Brother Reggie,
    the view you advocate will not happen for one thousand years at least, regardless of its humanity. The changes you advocate, require people change themselves, not their actions but themselves; that will take a very, very long time with the social organization we have today.

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  16. Just think how far humanity has come in the last thousand years Brother MK; and just think how far we'll go in the next thousand years.

    My only problem is that it's my wish to live to see the change. However, the way things are looking I might as well wish in one hand and shit in the other and just wait and see which one gets filled up the quickest.

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  17. Sometimes it's not even about the colour of the skin ... there are times when it's about the attitude and that is just another kind of racism that i've hat it up to 'here' with.

    I remember my teen years when i had just begun fighting with my weight ... when i would walk down my street to a chorus of 'whappen to de fat white girl?' and all because i had no time for the losers hanging on the corner.

    you think America perfected racism???! Come to the islands baby ... the natives can be a mean bunch of SOBs...

    Well said and well written as usual my friend.

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  18. brother reggie,
    When you speak of how far humanity has come and how far we'll go, i think of the native american, from modern day canada to peru. I have to ask, are native americans part of humanity or part of the We, you refer to?
    I can not imagine how because, they are nearly extinct. They are the most potent indicator of the past 1000 years brother reggie. They are, more than any other peoples. And, thinking of them, I imagine many non white peoples will be gone by the next one thousand. And, to be honest, if fate makes my words true, well, I will be happy to not live to see that.t

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  19. Thank you Trinitee Sees; and yes, I know we haven't exactly cornered the market on racism........but we've got the championship on lock!!!

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  20. Whether they want to hear it or not brother MK, the Caucasian male is certainly the most practiced predator on the face of this planet. And while I'm well aware of the fact that people of all races have commited genocide......or tried to; the Caucasian male is well ahead of his game!!!

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  21. hi Reggie, its been awhile. I like this post. its funny because myself and some co-workers (we're all women) were just having a similar discussion about society's concept of beauty and how certain complexions and features are more sought after and targeted for marketing as the standard of what a beautiful black woman is.

    As a kid I always felt like the ugly duck in the group because i'm dark but my sister is light and in my mind i felt that my mom showed favortism towards her cause she was the pretty one. I got over it though. stop by my blog sometime. holla!!!

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  22. This has forever been one of my pet peeves Momo. I've never understood why people of color would discriminate against one another.....it's just stupid.

    Well when I was growing up I was the youngest and both my brother and my sister were darker than me. I can't honestly remember either one of them mentioning my color, or I theirs. Others made issues of it, but my parents never made a distinction and neither did we.

    Some people are just ignorant as hell!!!

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  23. Fair enough brother reggie,
    fair enough.

    i read kisura momo's comment and your own. I recall a mestizo telling me about his brothers wife, who looks european. If she looked like members of her family who are redder she probably wouldn't have got her job, her livelihood. We live in a society that determines so much by race. That has always been the case, and is in no form changing. I see it more as anger than ignorance how people of color deal with their internal shades.

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  24. People are "color struck" and I think it's sad brother MK; because the way I see it, we should be celebrating the differences in people and not abhoring them.

    Anyone who doesn't recognize the bias associated with color and shade isn't paying attention to the realities of our society.

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  25. Brother Reggie,
    has difference been celebrated in the united states?

    I can tell you really want the biases to end.

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  26. I've been celebrating it my whole life brother MK, particularly where the fairer sex is concerned.

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  27. fair enough brother reggie, but you must admit, most have not been celebrating it their whole loves, most have been loathing it, and it has always been that way.

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  28. I crave that flesh the way Homer Simpson craves beer my dear brother MK. I honestly couldn't imagine not craving it!!!

    I feel sorry for the ones that don't feel the same way.

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  29. good write Reg and to add to the names being called a "redbone" aint nice either.

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  30. i think if more people thought like you Reggie... there WOULD be less biases.

    but i guess... maybe... thats just me?

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  31. Yeah I remember that one too Budda........I might have used that term myself a time or two as well.

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  32. Michelle it's just sad that people can't learn to appreciate the differences in people, rather than being disgusted and weary of them.

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  33. Boy, one thing that I cannot STAND is a "color struck coon!" And then they try and blame it on preference. I mean, its cool to have preferences, but to make being "light-skinned" one of your pre-requisites for dating is coonish(for lack of better words). I had this friend one time who had just had a baby that was brown skinned. When she showed me the picture, she said, "Oooh, my baby kinda dark ain't he?" I was like "WTF"? "So you think light is right?!" We must stop having this type of mentality.

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  34. That mentality is killing us DenishiaJ. It's as if we've accepted the Eurocentristic image of beauty and what's beautiful. It's the okey doke and we've gone for it hook, line and sinker. It's sad to me to hear men and women say that what they see in the mirror isn't beautiful.

    My father used to always say that if you look at any woman long enough you'll see something that you like. I've often wondered how anyone could see a woman that resembles their mother or father or themselves and not find that image attractive.

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  35. Reggie, this is a phenomenal post as confirmed by the number of comments your readers have left you. Great Job!

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  36. I don't know Gloria. Over the years I've written some pretty shitty posts and gotten a lot of comments. This particular topic is near and dear to my heart because I've seen the effects of it all through my life. I just wonder why people tend to focus on and ridicule and hate our differences rather than celebrate them.

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