My grandmother, a temperate and God fearing woman throughout her life who was the finest person that I ever met, used to always say that honesty is the best policy.
But is it really?!?
I like to be as honest as possible.........always. But I find that the only person in the world that I have to lie to is my significant other. To be honest, I think if I had always been honest with her, we wouldn't still be together.
Are you ALWAYS honest with your significant other?!?
Well.. teetering somewhere on the brink of a significant other, I have said I will always be honest.. and intend to stick to it!.. still... i have a feeling that will not always be easy.. I would like to think a person is always honest with me.. lies absolutely do me in... can't abide them.. but i guess they have to be discovered 1st right?
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that significant others are always looking for an honest answer though. When I was younger, I was foolish enough to believe so, but now that I'm older I know better.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that women are forever asking questions that they don't want honest answers for.
Does this make me look fat?!?
What do you think of this color on me?!?
Does this fit right?!?
Do you find these pants to be flattering on me?!?
I know now that the appropriate answer is never...."no that makes your butt look like two pigs in a sack".
I know that now anyway.
That is true Reggie. We want the answer we want .. and most likely we will continue to ask the same question untill we get it. We want the answer that makes us feel good, and allays our fears.
ReplyDeleteI don't really think honesty just for the sake of being honest is always a good thing. If the honesty will advance the relationship, then yes. If not being honest would harm the person more than the truth, then yes, be honest.
ReplyDeleteI think we have to use discretion Otherwise we can end-up hurting someone for no good reason.
No, I am not always honest with my significant other. I'd be divorced if I was.
ReplyDeleteWhich is why I never ask those questions, unless it's right before I buy whatever it is I'm asking about.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I want an honest answer. When money is involved (especially during a recession), I want a brutally honest answer.
Like you Reggie I have come to know that sometimes you do have to weigh options when being honest. Depends on what the subject or topic of conversation is I believe in if it aint broke don't try fix it.
ReplyDeleteYes but Dawna, sometimes that's just not an honest answer.
ReplyDeleteVal I really hate it when my friends and people I work with ask me if I think their children are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteBecause........I like being honest, ya know?!?
Does he know that BayouCreole?!?
ReplyDeleteAnkhesen Mié I've never been accused of saying "too little" in all my life. Trust me, I can be brutally honest at times.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's why I'm selectively honest ChilledLeo.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the truth will set you free, but sometimes the truth hurts too.
I agree, Reggie. I think some things are best left unsaid when it involves loved ones.
ReplyDeleteReggie sometime being (honest) frank with the one you love is always good. I've been there done that!
ReplyDeleteThis is true CurvyGurl, this is true.
ReplyDeleteYeah JJBrock sometimes being honest is good, but sometimes its a mistake.
ReplyDeleteIf it's important to be honest, I will. But like President Obama said on Barbara Walters 20/20 special last week, I'll lie only to keep from hurting someone's feelings, like if they're wearing a dress I don't like. A few years ago my mom started wearing this wig. She loved the wig, and my sister told her it looked like a raccoon sitting on her head-sideways. My mom's feelings were hurt, and she asked me my opinion. My sister was right, but I told my mom the wig was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteMy SO and I have been together for 3 years. Since it's still so new, we are still very honest with each other. But ask me again in 20 years. I recognize a well placed lie keeps better homes and gardens.
ReplyDeleteDaij I believe your sister was wrong for that. However,while sitting here in bed I read your comments to my wife. She thought that your sister did your mother a favor and that you left your mother open to ridicule. We must be the same type of men Daij because I would have said anything to not hurt my mother's feelings.
ReplyDeleteSerenity my SO and I have been together for 23 years and we've been married for 22 years. I firmly believe that a well placed lie keeeps better homes and gardens.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, this is true.
thats a good question. honestly I'm not always honest with him. Ma grandmother once told me, "the left hand shouldn't always know what the right hand is doing". Well I have taken that with me. I am usually honest with him...sometimes too honest but I am honest. I won't tell him exactly how much money I have. or if someone was tryna hit on me...just random things like that. But I will tell him how I feel...usually if its not gonna cause conflict between us. Its just sometimes some things are better off not said or even known about. I wouldn't cheat on him or steal from him, I wouldn't try and hurt him so that I have to keep something from him but all in all it just depends. some things are just better when not said...but every relationship, marriage is different. *smile*
ReplyDeleteI no longer have a significant other, but when I did, I was not honest with him all the time. That's not even close to the reason why we're not together anymore.
ReplyDeleteHonesty is the best policy. You don't have to try and think of who you told what, when or how. In my next relationship, I will work to be honest at all times :).
This is true MzE.
ReplyDeleteSounds like your grandmother has a lot of sense.
Mlvlatina I wouldn't even try to ALWAYS be completely honest. Besides, your loved ones rarely want complete honesty anyway.
ReplyDeleteno.
ReplyDeleteOkay..........no it is for Michelle.
ReplyDeleteHe better know. I don't think it's possible to be completely honest about every single thing in a relationship.
ReplyDelete...yeah, feelings might get hurt. I learned a long time ago though that if you don't want to know the answer.....then don't ask.
ReplyDeleteLol yes it is but what it all depend on is how you say it! When it comes to a lover, you really do have to walk a fine line because that person feels their most vulnerable with you... what you say could have a crushing blow.
ReplyDelete~Sherine
Check out my blog, comment, and follow if you like!
Confessions Of A City Girl
Sherine I can remember a time when I was foolish enough to believe that I was supposed to be honest with both my thoughts and feelings.........................................boy was I naive.
ReplyDeleteI like to remember that on the flip side, your significant other is not always being honest with you either.
ReplyDeleteAnd my pastor noted that honesty without love turn into condemnation.
Hmmmmmm, I'm definitely gonna have to think on that logic for a minute or two Mildred.
ReplyDeleteIs being mendacious the same as lying?
ReplyDelete-UBJ
happy new year Reggie!
ReplyDeleteHonesty is an overrated emotion. white lies, half truths, obfuscation, distortion and many others are necessary tools of this trade we call life. that said, honesty is one of my resolutions for 2012.
unrealistic?
I'm about 90% honest, most times. The other 10% is usually a mercy lie.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, mane!
One.
A very interesting topic. Honesty is the best policy, but if you are facing a female, most probably this policy would not work.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say it like that Chrome.........maybe it is unrealistic. One things for sure though, there are some thing best kept secret.
ReplyDeleteThe only way that three women can keep a secret is if two of them are dead and the third one is deaf, dumb and blind.
John in the movie "Cat on a hot tin roof" how many times did Burl Ives say the word "mendacity"?!?
ReplyDeleteMoanerplicity that makes complete sense to me.
ReplyDeleteBirdy I've long since come to the conclusion that women are not looking for an honest answer.
ReplyDeleteWomen need positive reinforcement.....just like a man with a small penis I suppose.
We could talk about this forever Reggie!! For me honesty hurts less than dishonesty.
ReplyDeleteIt depends, but I usually go with telling the truth.
ReplyDeleteI don't know CalmCoach, sometimes honesty can be quite painful.
ReplyDeleteLesbian Brooklynite I like to be honest too. As a rule, the only person I usually lie to is my wife. Everyone else can get the cold honest truth.
ReplyDeleteYes, Reggie I'm always honest with my husband and I do expect that same honesty back from him. There are too many people who will lie and not give nor expect the best out of him and I don't want to be lumped into that group. I believe that this teaches us to grow as individuals as well as a couple plus it strengthens our bond. If I lie to him what other bad karma (no pun intended) will I throw his way? Cheating? Stealing? I keep it honest so I know I'm giving the best that I can give.
ReplyDeleteI can understand that point of view too Karma Eve.
ReplyDeleteI thinks it depends on how and when you deliver the truth to your partner. Some people don't want the truth, Reggie, and so I may not give it to them. That's not to say Im a liar, but it does depend on the truth one is delivering and the maturity of the deliveree.
ReplyDeleteIm not down with cheating in relationships, business or whichever, so I dont have to lie about that kind of stuff.
Yeah but I wasn't talking about cheating when I wrote this post Anna Renee. I was merely talking about ALWAYS telling your SO the truth. Sometimes telling the absolute truth can lead to hurt feelings; especially depending upon the kind of questions your SO asks you.
ReplyDeleteWe can only be as honest as the next person's honesty will allow us to be. What's that Jack Nicholson's line from the movie, A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!"
ReplyDeleteSome people can't handle the truth Black Diaspora.
ReplyDeleteNah...some stuff you must keep to yourself to keep the peace. I don't want to be lied to but yeah keep that if you're about to hurt me.
ReplyDeleteSounds reasonable enough to me Gorgeous Pudding.
ReplyDeleteWe should be as honest as possible though there are some words that should never be spoken. Also, your truth may not be the same as mine. Just sayin'...
ReplyDeletePerception is reality Sexy Gunz.
ReplyDeleteI once pondered the same question myself. As much as it bothers me to say I honestly do not believe some people can handle or accept the truth.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when its best to lie to our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteIt's never appropriate to lie to someone you say you love.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous I can understand why you would make that statement, but I'm not sure that is always prudent.
ReplyDelete