Today when I sat down to write this blog post I couldn't decide what to write about. I couldn't decide whether to write about "loser boyfriends" or same sex marriage; so I decided to write a little something about both.
This morning I had breakfast at a small cafe not that far from my apartment. I had an omelet, some toast and coffee, it was good fare. However while I was trying to enjoy my breakfast I couldn't help but overhear a rather loud conversation that was taking place at the table next to me. The two "ladies" seated at that table were going on about their "loser boyfriends/baby daddy's". They went on and on about these two "fools" who apparently couldn't do anything right during their lives. At times it seemed as if they were in competition to see whose boyfriend was the bigger loser, the most trifling. Neither worked or took care of their children or were worth the fuck it took to get them here. They both drank, got high, were lazy....yadda yadda yadda. I've heard far to many conversations like this one.
I've always hated to hear women bash their significant others (or men for that matter); if for no other reason than because they actually chose them in the first place. You see, I don't believe that very many men get to actually pick their women. The way I see it, women accept us and that's usually when relationships start. The only time that men get to pick is when they're either very handsome or very rich....or both. Which of course is very very few of us. So the way I see it is if he is a loser....you chose him. Next time, choose wisely and don't bitch about your choice after the fact.
Yesterday New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, signed a bill into law that gave gay and lesbian couples the right to marry in the Empire state.
I've been married for almost 22 years and I honestly don't see the big deal about same sex marriage. If gays and lesbians want to marry, then I say so be it. I've never bought any of that bullshit about same sex marriage ruining the sanctity of marriage....that's just complete and utter nonsense.
I truly believe that gays and lesbians should have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
I've been married for almost 22 years and I honestly don't see the big deal about same sex marriage. If gays and lesbians want to marry, then I say so be it. I've never bought any of that bullshit about same sex marriage ruining the sanctity of marriage....that's just complete and utter nonsense.
I truly believe that gays and lesbians should have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
My favorite quote dealing with same sex marriage comes from Arnold Schwartzenegger. He once said "I think that the only gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." Whether you're for it or not, you've gotta admit....that's funny.
I agree with both of your points.
ReplyDeleteReggie! why do you have the minister picture with this post?
I don't understand why, especially single, folks complain either, Reggie. To be honest, I think it's a bad reflection on them if they choose to stay.
ReplyDeleteHere in the UK same sex marriages can only take place in a registry office, not a church as far as i'm aware ( correct me if i'm wrong UK people) I also feel they should marry like the rest of us, why not?1? A marriage is a beautiful thing where there is love!
ReplyDeleteI think it's awful to bitch about your partner in that way. riddiculous if you're still with them as it says more about you than them!
I believe if you make a choice and he turns out to be unplesant, you were either duped or you made a mistake - accept that, painfull as it is and move on.
When women bitch like that they may end up becoming really bitter, and it ages them prematurely!
Exactly we all make well informed choices in life so deal with the consequences as and when they arrive. What I find particularly irritating is the women who bitch but have cemented themselves so deep into their so called car crash of a relationship they don't know how to leave yet COMPLAIN.....
ReplyDeleteLike you and the concensus everyone is entitled to some form of enjoyment if that means a man marries another or vice versa for a woman let it be.....
Simple JJBrock, I really like the look on his face that says "I don't want to hear that bullshit, keep it to yourself". Gotta love the minister. Even if when you're listening to him talk it's like eating watermelon....ya gotta spit out the seeds.
ReplyDeleteMaybe even a sophisticated "STFU" if you will.
CurvyGurl that's my take on it too. It's as if they're bad mouthing themselves.
ReplyDeleteThat's interesting Dawna, I was hoping that some of my readers that are from other places other than this country would respond to this post.
ReplyDeleteI'm also hoping that some of my readers of the homosexual persuasion will respond as well. It would be nice to hear their take on this.
God knows that I'm not always right, so I encourage any and all to come and discuss both the same sex issue and the issue of the trifling significant other.
ChilledLeo that really annoys me to no end. Listening to people complain about their significant others for whatever reason; and yet they go home to them every night or they invite them back in their bed the following week.
ReplyDeleteInteresting comments about women picking men. I never thought about it like that but has a crazy logic to it. The Gov. of NY must not plan on running for president one day because with what recently happened he just lost all votes in the South.
ReplyDeleteOh no Citizen Ojo, he wasn't thinking of running for president or he wouldn't have done the right thing.
ReplyDeleteHonestly Reggie, I don't see the big deal either. This is 2011. Men like men and women like women. It's no longer cliche or taboo. Get the f*ck over it.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I had no clue you've been married that long. marriages still last that long? Wow, there's hope for people like me after all. :)
I find it interesting that same-sex unions were dated back to the Ancient Greece and Rome times but no record of this "phenomena" was recorded anywhere in Africa. Don't really know if that means anything but you should know history always repeats itself. Sorry Reg I don't feel the same as you and the other commentators on this topic but its unnatural and its a shame we justify it with the word LOVE.
ReplyDeletecosign with Alee. I totally agree, Reggie
ReplyDeleteok, I can some what get what you are saying on women "picking" the guy...that was the case with ma son's father. I did pick him...even tho, evidence was there to leave...or "RUN FOR THE HILLZ!" but yet, I stayed because I "thought" I was "in love" *heh heh heh* silly me. I would have "those" kinda convo's with ma mom but not to the point of the women in your story tho'...hey the whole world didn't need to know that I had a sucky babydaddy! LOL! Now I must admit after 5 yearz of "hell" we are pretty cool with each other and he gets his son ALL the time! *smile* So the rough patch turned to a slightly bumpy road.
ReplyDeleteNow as far as me picking ma bf @ the moment, I guess he picked me! LOL! because I DEF was NOT looking or in the process of wanting ANYONE! Well, let me state, he picked ma kidz first. I didn't pay him ANY mind because I am on "mommy mode" when ma kidz are around me so I was not looking at him in ANY kind of way...not until I got the phone call from ma home girl telling me that he likes ma kidz and wanna treat me and ma babiez right...and he been doing that since! *giggles* I'm not saying that its perfect but I have MORE faith in God than man so whatever happens, happens and I know that God will see me through whatever it is that I go through. *smile*
As far as same sex marriage....?.....? Thats a topic I try not to get into because I don't judge ppl for who they love and how they are or want to be. All I ask is that you treat each other with love & respect so I am not for or against same sex marriage but just like ma grandmother says "its NOT ma cup of tea but I don't hafta drink it!" *smile* Have a Blessed week Reg! *smile*
O, *high five* to you and the Mrs for 22 yearz of married bliss! *smile* I LOVE THAT sh**!
marriage is an overrated institution, so yeah, grant them the right to be miserable with the rest of mankind.
ReplyDeletemarriage is great, its institutionalization and guiding laws suck
as far a gay marriage is concerned it's for eaches own...It's not my marriage so I really don't care...and for the baby mamas, those men probably were unemployed and getting high from day 1 so I just stop listening 2 all the complaints...they thought a baby was gonna make him change and now they are dealing with the consequences "blowing Bubbles" lls Great Post as always
ReplyDeleteAnd what kind of distinguished ladies are these?
ReplyDeleteYou are what you get, so if your s/o is low-life trash then...
No comment on the gay marriage, Reggie.
How you been?
~Chap
www.insaneasylumblog.com
We LOVE what you have to say. =]
ReplyDeleteAnd we are hoping you'd come to our chatroom tomorrow -- we're battling the boys and discussing relationships. =] We're inviting you to join the college fun!
Kimberly, FWB
femmeswithbenefits.com
Alee maybe it's just that I've reached the point in my life where I just don't understand why anyone is concerned about what happens in someone else's home.
ReplyDeleteAlee I got married right as I was graduating from college and I have two children. My son is 21 and my daughter 20, they're both college students here in South Carolina.
Yeah.....I'm old.
BT there was a time in my life when I felt the exact same way that you do about same sex unions. It took a long time for me to get here. As I've gotten older I've become more open minded and tolerant and I regret not being more open minded or tolerant as a younger man. I wasn't always the nicest person either. I was loud, obnoxious.....and straight forward. Kinda like now, but with different opinions.
ReplyDeleteTell me why you feel the way you do BT.
Oh yeah Daij, life's just too short.
ReplyDeleteBut Mz E your relationship with him didn't begin until YOU accepted HIM. It's rarely the other way around. We come sniffing around and then you women either accept us or you don't. If you accept us, we get sex. If you don't, we move on. Just like a cat, we'll jump the fence and eat at the next house.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a dog in that same sex fight either, but I believe they should have the same rights as heterosexual couples.
I don't talk about my marriage often, I don't know what made me mention it in this post. But on a couple of occasions I've posted pictures of my wife in my posts. The pictures are so obscure, most people probably don't even notice them.
Chrome I'm of the opinion that a marriage license ought to be like a driver's license and expire after 5 years if you don't renew it.
ReplyDeleteChamp I'm always amazed that women think that they can CHANGE a man. If he was shit when you met him, he'll probably be shit for his entire life.
ReplyDeleteC'mon Mr. Chap I would love to hear your opinion on same sex marriage. You've never disappointed me with your logic and common sense.
ReplyDeleteKimberly I'll be sure and look for your site.
ReplyDeleteReggie its the was I raised and I've continued to feel strongly about this topic. I'm pretty opened mined to things and I am very understanding as well. I won't go so far as to bash another human being because of their beliefs and sexual preference but I feel accepting it is still my choice(at the moment). No anger or hate for gay people just a dislike for going against nature that's all.
ReplyDeletei can dig both of your topics its all about choice...live with it or dont deal with it
ReplyDeleteLyke budda said,it is all about your choices.. If a woman chooses a man who she knows or suspects is a damn bum, has a baby by him...Then whose the dummy now bytch?
ReplyDeleteSame sex marriage is nobodies business except the two people that want to show the world who they love. Love is hard enough to find as it is; so if two dudes or two women find it with each other; then hey..do the damn thing.
To be honest BT, I was raised the same way too. My father was military, sensitivity wasn't part of his makeup.
ReplyDeleteHe had no problem expressing himself.
I remember once when I was a college student, I was with my father at his place of work. One of his coworkers (who happened to be gay) asked my father what he would have done if I were born gay, since he knew how much my father hated gays. My father looked him dead in his face and told him that he'd have shot me. My father was very serious.
For a long time I maintained those attitudes myself. After graduating I started working and of course there were gays in the places I worked. I got to know some of them and realized.......maybe my thoughts were a little backwards. People love who they love and who am I to pass judgement on them. Other people look at me and since I have a permanent suntan, they have preconceived notions about me that cause them to hate me......when they don't even know me. Yeah.....I was wrong and that's why I had a change of heart and I took the time to re-think some of those things that I'd heard onto dearly.
Who am I to tell anyone who they should love?!?
Hey Budda it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteI'm with that Dirty Red and as far as I'm concerned, what goes on in someone else's home just isn't my business.
ReplyDeleteI say, let'em jump into this ring of fire like the rest of us. I don't see how two homosexuals getting married has any impact on my life or any choices I make.
ReplyDeleteMy feelings exactly BayouCreole.
ReplyDeletei dont pretend to understand homosexuality... because i dont really get the draw... HOWEVER, what a person does in heir bedroom is between them... and whoever else is IN that bedroom with them.
ReplyDeleteas far as gay marriage... i just havent heard a single logical arguement against it that holda any water in todays world.
live and let live...
i dont understand it... but it isnt up to me to condone or condemn ANYBODY... yanno?
so... thats where i am on that.
as far as the loser s/o's... i dont believe women get to choose any more often than men do... i believe people accept eachother... and yes, i agree... its no fun listening to anyone complain about the person they are/were with... because at one point they DID accept that person.
i think if people werent so quick to jump into a sexual relationship with a person... and actually got to know them REALLY well before they layed down... a lot of folks wouldnt end up in situations like that.
im not above reproach... i had a child out of wedlock at 16... with a guy who hasnt participated... but i made that choice to lay down with him... and i made the choice to have AND keep my son... and i couldnt love him more. i dont complain... i made this bed... so im layin in it. i have learned from everything i have lived.
being angry and bitter bubbles over into everything in your life... its much better to make the best of things and learn from each relationship and situation... then take that experience n go ahead into life a better more knowledgeable person.
I must say that I agree with just about everything that you said Michelle. But I do firmly believe that women get to pick and choose us....we don't get to pick. You guys generally accept us. Most of you aren't scrambling around throwing pussy at us....most of us are never that lucky.
ReplyDeleteWho am I to say who someone should or shouldn't not love and what should become of that relationship?!?
I don't even pretent to be openminded about all things. I stand in support of same sex marriage only because I can't think of a logical reason to be opposed to it.
I will admit though that I will probably never be able to honestly say that I understand how one man could look at another man's hairy ass and think "I want some of that". There are just too many things about that that just don't sound right to me. I do acknowledge though that I am not always right. Anytime I think I'm even close to being right most of the time my wife will come along and let me know about my shortcomings.
To each his own. Everyone answers to God in the end. If they feel justified and they're doing the right thing, who am I to protest?
ReplyDeleteAs far as the women...they give decent one's a bad name. If you don't like your situation, change it. No one put you there, but you.
I LOVE that pic of Minister Farrakhan! LOL!
I would agree. We all make our own beds, so we're the ones that lay in them. If we don't like it, we can always remake the bed.
ReplyDeleteIt is what it is.
Icn, I couldn't have said it better myself in regards to the women "if you don't like your situation, change it..."
ReplyDeleteWe all need a little change at times.
ReplyDeleteI don't support gay marriage, however I think nobody can judge us, so these guys are free to choose what they want for their live... And best we can do is to ignore the fact.
ReplyDeleteI say live and let live.
ReplyDelete