I firmly believe that there are no perfect men, only perfect intentions.
None of us are perfect and all of us are subject to the many foibles of men.........and/or women.
I'm thinking that just about all of us have at least one habit that we're not particularly proud of. Oh we might not necessarily be hiding it. But I'm quite sure that there are moments of clarity when we probably promise ourselves that we'll cut down on that vice or cut it out in it's entirety.
*Steps to the podium*
My name is Reggie and I absolutely adore the taste of scotch. I don't drink anything cheap, I prefer Glenfiddich. I'm not an alcoholic, mind you, because I rarely drink. Seriously, I've only had one bottle of scotch in the last year. But I can certainly understand why people become alcoholics............I just don't intend on doing that myself.
*Steps to the podium*
My name is Reggie and I absolutely love the taste of a good cigar. Not a stogie mind you. Not that type of thing you might see a bum smoking or what a rat in a cartoon might have in his mouth, but a sho nuff good cigar. The type of cigar you'd find in a humidor in a cigar shop. Once again, I don't smoke cigars regularly, I recognize that they're not good for me.
While I enjoy these vices, they're not something that I indulge in around my children. My children are now both college students and they have never seen me smoke and I don't believe that either one of them have seen me drink more than one glass of wine in their lives. It's always been important to me that they don't see me doing something that I would consider to be detrimental to my health. Our children look to us for guidance. It's rather hard to tell them that they shouldn't be doing something that they've seen you do.
There are people in my family that have openly used drugs in front of their children. And not only that, but they had the audacity to try and lecture their own children when they caught them using those same drugs years later when they reached an age of adulthood. When I heard that, I thought it was the worst form of hypocrisy.
Tell me, what are your thoughts on this? Do you have a vice or vices? Do you indulge in these sort of vices around your children? Or do you know someone that does?
Let's talk about our vices.
I became a mother at age 23. I was young and did alot of things without thinking. Me and my friends used to play this drinking game. You rolled the dice and depending on what number you rolled, that person to the left or right of you had to take a shot. If you rolled a one and a three the last person to put their middle finger on their nose had to take a shot.
ReplyDeleteOne afternoon, my mom came over. While she was there, I noticed my then three year old sitting at the table with a glass of water and the dice. He rolled the dice and put his finger on his nose...
After that, I was more cautious of what I do in front of my children.
because my father was an alcoholic and I experienced the effect of having a drunk abisive father, I was never interested in drinking. Neither did my son. I have smoked weed but never around him. when he came to me and confessed that he had been smoking weed, i was proud that he wanted me to know what he was doing. he was 20 at the time, and in college and was always a mature young man. it didn't affect his grades. he's a lawyer now, living in argentina. we smoke together, whenever i see him.
ReplyDeleteI smoke cigarettes, though I cut down to about a quarter from what I used to smoke. I tried weed once, but it made my hands smell like a skunk, so I never tried again.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid, we were allowed small amounts of alcohol (like if we wanted a taste of beer or wine, or even a small glass of it), it was not seen as a big deal. But those were Eastern-European rules, and even there things have changed for the younger generations. But neither I, nor my friends have drinking problems as adults. We were not allowed to talk back and question our parents' adult behaviors. We were aware that the rules were different for us, as kids.
If I have kids, they will see me as I am, I have no plans to pose into some model of purity. Parents' lectures are pretty much useless anyway, even if the parents practice what they preach. I'd rather let them see and do a little bit of this and that, because forbidding things completely will make them WAY more appealing.
I will try not to flatter myself that my kids will actually listen to my advice, or that I will be able to fight all the other influences in their lives. I started smoking because the boy I loved in high-school smoked, for example.
I gave you a tag on my blog, if you want to take it sometime.
i used to smoke cigarettes... and yes i smoked in front of my kids... BUT thankfully... i was able to quit.
ReplyDeletemy mom and dad both smoke... my broher smokes... but i dont... so that means I ROCK! lol
i dunno what made me start smoking? likely just plain old stupiditythinkin i was cool, but stupidity kept me smoking for 13 years...
i DO kinda wish i had never smoked in fronta the boys... but i guess whats done is done... and honesty, i dont think theyll smoke JUST because they saw me do it for a few years.... i hope not anyways.
i smoke weed... but ive never smoked in front of my kids... i keep my sh*t under wraps... although... theyre getting up there in age and i have a feeling theyre onto me.
it is something i do that is "frowned upon" by society in general and im sure isnt a healthy habit... but i do it anyways.
it is what it is eh reggie?
i dont drink... i MIGHT have three drinks a year... i just have never really liked the taste?
is it really that bad that i burn?
i dont know? i PERSONALLY dont think so.
would i want my kids to do it or see me doing it?
no... a bad habit is a bad habit.
id rather they smoke a j now and then, than turn into pack-a-day cigarette smokers... or heavy drinkers.
Yeah LeeLee it's true that they learn so very much from us. They watch us closely and they develop habits based on what they see. So often I hear my children say things that I've said to them for years.....and fortunately it's good stuff.
ReplyDeleteThey look up to us and they want to emulate us. It's only natural for them to do so.
My father had vices, but he worked everyday. He didn't respect a man too trifling to go to work and neither do I. It's probably because of my father that I've NEVER been late to work and I've only called in sick a handful of times ever.
ReplyDeleteMy father was an alcoholic too Daij; and while I hesitate to call him abusive, he probably was. He could curse with the best of them and he embarassed my siblings and I more times than I can count. Sometimes I wonder if people realize just how closely our children scrutinize the things that we do.
My father drank heavily, which is probably why I scorn those that do. I think it's a sign of weakness and I share that same opinion about smoking for that same reason as well. My father smoked like industry. Both my father and my mother had cancer. My older brother and sister smoke like nobody's business as well.
My father thought that only hippies, drug addicts and degenerates smoked weed. He could be quite comical at times.
A successful child is usually the sign of a very good parent. So I congratulate you on having a son that's a lawyer.
I couldn't imagine smoking a joint with my father........but I couldn't even begin to imagine him smoking a joint. I only ever had one drink with him and he bought that drink for me on my 21st birthday. He then proceeded to lecture me on the evils of alcohol.
My father once told me that he was a drunk, not an alcoholic; because alcoholics have to go to those goddamned meetings.
Catintherain I never had a nicotine habit to kick and I stopped smoking weed in college because I got sick and tired of having to order a pizza everytime one of my idiot friends lit up a joint.
ReplyDeleteThe things we do just because we want to get laid.
I'm glad you stopped smoking Smokey. Yeah it seems like a lot of people in my family smoke too. Whenever I go to see my family, I end up taking my clothes to a dry cleaner as soon as I get home.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that you don't smoke your glaucoma medication in front of your boys Michelle. That could significantly impact their lives.
They watch us and they're pretty savvy at figuring us out. They're naturally curious and we can seldom fool them.
Yes Michelle, it is what it is.
Whoa!!! Hold on Michelle......are you seriously advocating your crumbsnatchers smoking doobies.........did you really mean that?!?
Reggie I never had a vice unless you can count being addicted to sugar as one. I mean any thing that had sugar in it I crave it. But as far nicotine,drug or alcohol NO.
ReplyDeleteBut back in the late 80's my husband and I had about 3 couples we would play spade with on the weekend. Now these couples love to drink and get high.
One night we were at one of the couples home who had a 5years old son. We start playing cards when someone lit up a joint and start passing the joint around. When the joint got to this couple their 5year old son start reaching for the joint the mom give it to him along with a beer.
JJBrock I'm scared of people without vices. Though for those that know me, they probably think I don't have any. I rarely drink or smoke, so I can relate.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm not surprised to hear that you don't have any vices. I honestly would have said you didn't.
I quit smoking(cigarettes) 6 yrs ago come this August...now I hate the smell of them and cigars smell ten times worst...lol
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on staying smokefree Kim.
ReplyDeleteI love a good cigar, but I would never smoke in my car or in my home. The smell of the smoke in my home would drive me crazy.
OK I'm getting all technical. Wiki defines a vice as a practice or a behavior or habit considered immoral, depraved, and/or degrading in the associated society.
ReplyDeletebut really what does society know, its the old adage "one man's meat is ..."
whatever I do I don't consider a vice but a source of relief and bliss. so cigarettes when I'm stressed the eff out, the blessed herb when I want to meditate, alcohol all the time to aid digestion and enhance the vibe.
what? no one has fessed to spanking the damned monkey? now that is one major vice if ever there was one
You can flog your dolphin as much as you like my friend. But I would suggest that you refrain from doing it at work or in public places; unless of course, you happen to get down like that.
ReplyDeletei would never say that i WANT (n'or would i advocate that...) my kids to smoke weed reggie... i think you know me better than that... im just suggesting that its the lesser of many evils... at least health wise... maybe not where the law is concerned though?
ReplyDelete“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”~Mae West
how am i to know which evil is my favourite until ive tried them all reggie? lol
Reg, would you be surprised if I said I don't have any? LOL
ReplyDeleteBoth of my parents smoked, I never did. Never did any drugs. I don't drink...wait, does half a daiquiri at a festival count?
I used to have boyfriends that sold weed, I would even go on a few runs with them but, I was never interested in the stuff.
But hold up...what is the "damned monkey" and how do you spank it? OK...I just googled it..OMG! ROTFLMAO!
Yes I would be surprised BayouCreole, very surprised.
ReplyDeleteSex is the one vice I didn't mention. I'm sure a lot of us could talk for hours about that one.
That's certainly one way to look at it Michelle. Let me ask you something. When are they gonna come out with flavored weed? You know like Strawberry, Chocolate, Bacon or Jalapeno flavored weed?
ReplyDeleteWhen they coming out with that?
as soon as its legal and government controlled
ReplyDeleteI don't smoke. But I love the smell of cigars. Cheap cigarettes disgusts me. My dad (bless his soul) quit smoking when I was barely seven, but I remember he used to sit outside and smoke.
ReplyDeleteHe was a good man ( when he was sober) otherwise he was an abusive/self-loathing/self-pitying drunk depending on the day. But he took good care of us. His family was his pride.
Can't count the number of times my sis' and I have had to pick him off the gutters and heave him up the stairs, blah, blah, blah
Right now I stay the hell away from people who drink too much or can't hold their liquor.
You see, funnily, my dad's alcoholism did not put me off alcohol. I'm a social drinker. I don't drink beer, Vodka, Whiskey e.t.c. I prefer something soft, something like Smirnoff or Gordon spark. Something that has gin in it. Tequila is okay too.
One thing I know is that alcoholism is not for me. huh huh. Or for the one I love. It destroys.
As for smoking of weed. I just can't wrap my mind around that. Unacceptable!
Did I mention that the smell of weed troubles my stomach. Maybe to some people sex has become a vice, not me. I have a healthy dose of it with the bf. I believe in safe sex and the one partner rant, and gladly he does too ( I have one eye open though, can't ever fully trust ur sex, you know what I mean).
ReplyDeleteSo, that's that about my vices. None is crippling and none will ever be.
My mother always said stay with anything that's decent and modest. I wouldn't want her to know that I agree with that and abide by it.
I don't smoke and rarely drink - the odd glass of wine with dinner.. hardly counts does it??
ReplyDeleteNeither agree with me - tried the smoking thing in my late teens - didn't like it - again my late 20's - didn't like it - and again in late 30's didn't like it. As soon as I had children though I didn't want any one to smoke around them - even now if someone smokes they go outside. I didn't want my kids to think it was okay.. thankfully they don't smoke or drink
I have watched peole close to me lose themselves to drink.. it puts you off for life..
Drunk is not a good look.. it's embarrasing to the people who them you and strips the drunken of thier dignity
I try to set a good example to my children - they're fairly grown now as I had them youngish - but they can never say... I didn't try.. or that I steered them wrong!!
Having said that.. you can do it all for your kids and they couldstill find someway to blame you for something!! :-) joys of being a parent I guess!!
Vices.. I hope to adopt a few.. fun -sexy-and lovable ones!! out of sight of the eyes of the 'kids' .. big people time now!
I love my kids and would never contribute to the negative influences they will have to deal with as they grow older in this crazy world. I do have a few vices though cognacs, imported beers, cuban and filtered cigars, internet porn to name a few. I keep them separated because the "hero" aspect of fatherhood is very important to me. I want my children to look to me as their role model and my son to see how a black man should be. I confess to not being perfect but that doesn't stop me from striving to be.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic. Nice to see people being honest. My vice would have bad decisions. I do consider that one. A big one actually. Especially after all I have been through lately.
ReplyDeleteBless us all!
Michelle you know I honestly don't have a problem with that. I honestly don't understand why its not legal now.
ReplyDeleteInez my father used to drink like that everyday, but he went to work without fail. He had a strong work ethic and so do I.
ReplyDeleteI try to remember my dear departed father for the good things I remember of him. Lord knows there was plenty of bad though. Alcoholism changes people and not in a good way either.
Inez, one of my favorite colllege professors was Nigerian. His name was Nworah. He used to always say "you can't blame a man for his habits as long as he takes them in moderation".
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with a few sexy adult vices, just don't get caught.
ReplyDeleteCigarettes make me nauseous. I don't let anyone smoke in my home, period.
BT I firmly believe that there are no perfect men, only perfect intentions.
ReplyDeleteInternet porn huh? I probably should have talked about that one too.
Life is about choices Mlvlatina and we all make some bad ones occasionally.
ReplyDeleteOff point, but Happy Fathers day Reggie!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Anna Renee.
ReplyDeleteHell yeah i've got vices...had them, eliminated some, but kept some. Kids are gonna do what they want to do... i can lecture all day about what my kids shouldn't do and then i see they will try it out anyways. I ain't mad at them because i did the same thing, all i can do is advise and inform and hopefully in time they will see (like i did) what i was talking about.
ReplyDeleteYeah I just don't want my children to develop bad habits by watching me.
ReplyDeleteMany people feel hesitate buy cigars online for fear of leakage of their personal information. Customers usually fear that by tracking their personal information, the agencies may apply taxes on them. Your Article really useful to get rid of this fear.
ReplyDeletevices? o boy! it would hafta be the cigaweed. I enjoy it like a good cigar. I can go all day without it and once ma day is done and I am on kick back mode...thas when I don't mind having it to mellow out with. I have been working on not getting ma self into a routine of finishing ma day wit it. Its just something i was enjoying on ma personal time...witout the kidz...just me...and maybe the bf.
ReplyDeleteWine use to be ma thing...it still is but I'm not drinking it like I use to...ma last cup was on Mothers Day evening...and that was because I went out to have drinks. I would like to tone down the wacky tabacky to a less than sporatic thing...and I am working on doing just that! *smile*
Okay Curtis you really confused me here.
ReplyDeleteOkay Mz E, truth be told we all have our vices.
ReplyDeleteSince alcoholism tends to run in my immediate family, I'm not one to really overly indulge in it...but I must admit I do enjoy a nice wine or a mixed drink every now and then.
ReplyDeleteCigarettes...don't like the smell of them whatsoever...inhaling the smoke of some of them makes my chest burn a little. As a result I try not to be around too much of it, if I can help it. Same as weed. Can't hang with it...but no disrespect to those who do; just can't do it when we're hanging out.
But I do like to collect sex toys, particularly Pocket Rockets. I like to keep a couple of extra in case one experiences a technical difficulty.
(drops mic)
That's why I don't indulge in alcohol all too much also.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with a hobby No Labels, I ain't mad at you.
I appreciate your efforts that you have shared your views on this topic. Even I do not drink and smoke, different people have different choices. I think smoking and drinking is not bad provided you drink or smoke to some limit. As, it is rightly said that "Excess of everything is bad". So, we should always draw a line for our limits and not cross them.
ReplyDeletebuy cigars online
You can't blame a man for his habits provided he takes them in moderation.
ReplyDeletethere's no solution for this, if your son became scum, there's no way back.
ReplyDeleteSometimes though they become scum because of our ownn bad habits and foibles.
ReplyDelete